As I was out running errands recently, I tuned into a classic rock station, and to my surprise, I heard Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam belting out “Even Flow.” It struck me—when did the grunge music of the ‘90s earn the label “classic rock”? I’ve long since put away my flannel shirts and Doc Martens, yet there I was feeling simultaneously nostalgic and slightly old. Funny enough, I don’t feel any older—unless I overindulge in wine, which now comes with a hefty recovery period, unlike my younger days when I could bounce back in a few hours.
As I approach my 39th birthday, I can’t help but reflect on my journey. After a tumultuous breakup that left me in tears on my 30th birthday, I’m convinced that turning 40 will be a walk in the park. Though I may not feel older, I’ve certainly gained wisdom. From my late teens to my 20s, there are five key lessons that I cherish and carry forward as I step into my 40s.
1. You Don’t Have All the Answers
In my youth, I was convinced I had life figured out. Relationships, careers, and even parenting seemed so clear-cut. I wish someone had reminded me that no matter how educated I thought I was, there would always be more to learn. Sometimes, life teaches us lessons that no classroom can cover—a truth I’m reminded of as I work towards my PhD.
2. It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Planned
We often bombard young adults with expectations: excel academically, choose a stable career, settle down, and follow the traditional path. While setting goals is important, they should be flexible. My career journey taught me the importance of adaptability. It’s perfectly fine to explore new opportunities and shift directions as life unfolds.
3. Embrace Your Body
Struggling with body image has been a lifelong battle for me. Influences from family and media often clouded my perception of self-worth. I wish someone had encouraged me to appreciate my body rather than focus on diets or workouts. I started a practice of standing in front of the mirror and finding three things I love about myself. This ritual, whether it takes a few moments or longer, has helped me shift my perspective significantly.
4. Live Within Your Means
I learned the value of a dollar early on, working as a nursing aide to fund my love for trendy clothes. However, as my income increased, so did my spending—leading me to accumulate a closet full of clothes and shoes but little else of value. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I truly grasped the difference between needs and wants, and began to appreciate financial prudence.
5. Recognize Smart Risks vs. Foolish Choices
The saying, “No risk, no reward,” often rings true, but there’s a fine line. Engaging in reckless behavior—like wandering alone in unfamiliar cities or driving after drinking—falls into the “foolish” category. I’ve navigated my share of risky decisions and emerged relatively unscathed, but I’ve seen others who weren’t as fortunate. As I’ve matured, I’ve learned that taking risks can mean exploring new avenues without putting myself in jeopardy.
Reflecting on these lessons, I realize that some things must be experienced firsthand, even if the learning curve is steep. I often joke that when my daughter turns 18, I might need a stash of calming aids to cope until she reaches 30. But for now, I find solace in the idea that wisdom is a cherished gift.
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Summary:
In my 20s, I learned vital lessons about life, love, and self-acceptance that I carry with me into my 40s. From understanding that I don’t have all the answers to embracing my body and recognizing the importance of financial wisdom, these insights have shaped who I am today. Every mistake and misstep was an opportunity for growth, and sharing these lessons can help others navigate their own journeys.
Keyphrase: Lessons from My 20s
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