As I embark on the journey of teaching my 5-year-old son about chores, we’ve started with simple tasks—like tidying up his toys at the end of the day and “assisting” me with laundry and vacuuming. (Sure, his version of vacuuming is more about discovering what unusual items the hose can suck up, but hey, that’s a lesson in engineering, right? The ace of hearts he found was quite the discovery.)
Recently, we’ve introduced an allowance system: $1 for spending, $1 for saving, and $1 for giving, following the jar method suggested by Mark Sullivan, the author of The Art of Financial Parenting: Raising Kids Who Value Money. Sullivan advises against tying chores to allowance, emphasizing that the purpose of an allowance is not to reward work but to offer a practical learning experience. It’s our responsibility as parents to help children grasp money management—understanding budgets, distinguishing needs from wants, and saving for future purchases. Yes, kids don’t “earn” their allowance in the traditional sense, but they don’t earn food or shelter either; those are fundamental responsibilities we take on as caregivers.
This raises an interesting question: Should children have the opportunity to earn extra money through additional chores? A thought-provoking image shared by Michelle Davis on social media sparked a lively discussion on whether compensating children for chores—whether regular or extra—is beneficial. After all, there are countless tasks that contribute to a well-functioning household, such as cleaning gutters, vacuuming the car, or organizing the garage.
Initially, I considered implementing a system similar to what Davis does—offering a few bucks for tasks like raking leaves or washing the dog. But then I thought about the boys I’m raising and the men I’ve observed throughout my life. Typically, when it came to household chores, it was often me, or more commonly women, managing the to-do list. Sure, partners pitch in, but it’s usually the woman who identifies what needs to be accomplished. That’s a chore in itself.
My goal isn’t just to teach my sons to wash their dishes without grumbling (though I certainly want that!). I want them to grow into men equipped with essential household skills: meal planning, cleaning blinds (and understanding when it’s necessary), and knowing when to clear leaves from gutters. I don’t want them to reach adulthood asking their partners, “What should I do next?” I want them to have the knowledge to take the initiative.
There are countless small tasks that make a home run smoothly—like determining how much food to prepare for Thanksgiving, finding the right solvent to remove stains from walls, or knowing when to clean out the fridge. Managing this mental checklist is a key part of being a “household manager,” a role I hope my boys will embrace as they transition into adulthood, alongside their money management skills.
If I start paying them for chores, there’s a risk they might choose to skip tasks or only do the fun ones. But adulthood isn’t about selecting only the enjoyable jobs; sometimes, it involves wrangling a muddy dog, and there’s no paycheck for that. So, excuse me while I teach my son the fine art of cleaning out a vacuum hose—looks like we’ve got an ace of hearts stuck in there.