Being a child therapist offers unique challenges. While it’s tough to hear about the hardships children face, the real struggle often resonates on a personal level. As parents, we tend to be especially sensitive to criticism. Well-meaning partners, friends, and family members often feel compelled to highlight our missteps. Comments like, “Shouldn’t you be handling it differently?” or “Is that really the best approach?” can feel like arrows aimed straight at our vulnerabilities. The weight of these judgments can be overwhelming.
No one is flawless, but if you’re a chef, you’re expected to whip up a fantastic meal. Similarly, as a child therapist, there’s an implicit expectation to raise exceptional kids. As a novice parent and seasoned therapist, I found myself absorbing society’s standards of “good parenting,” leading to a whirlwind of anxiety. A mental checklist of what I should and shouldn’t do began to form even before my baby transitioned from the size of a grape to a peach:
- Give birth naturally
- Opt for an epidural
- Breastfeed or don’t breastfeed
- Co-sleep or establish a strict sleep schedule
- Limit gluten, wheat, and dairy
- Avoid plastic toys
- Manage screen time
- Establish routines or embrace flexibility
- Offer praise or refrain from it
And then came the various parenting philosophies—attachment parenting, free-range parenting, permissive parenting, helicopter parenting. Who was I as a parent? What was my style? Navigating these waters felt more complex than graduate school. I sometimes wondered if I could just reverse time and start over.
In my therapy sessions, I often hear parents lament their perceived shortcomings. “She still sleeps with me; I know that’s not ideal.” “He watches too much TV; I should limit that.” “We have a strict routine; I need to be more adaptable.” For a while, I joined the ranks of parents feeling guilty about every little thing. I compiled a mental list of mistakes to go with my morning cup of coffee:
- I tell my child she’s beautiful—am I teaching her to value her looks?
- I often say, “Good job!”—am I giving empty praise?
- My kids have iPads—am I ruining their brains?
- I occasionally lose my temper—what kind of fraud am I?
As I grew older, I began to care less about conflicting parenting rules. By the time I had my third child, I realized I was feeling guilty about how I compliment my kids. Reflecting on my own childhood, I remembered a time when my mother loaded us into the back of a station wagon without seat belts. We roamed the neighborhood unsupervised, devoured microwave dinners in front of the TV, and sometimes went weeks without a shower. I managed to survive that; surely I am doing better now, right? My kids get bathed more than once a week, and I even manage to cook dinner several days a week—even pancakes occasionally!
I don’t pass judgment on the parents who come to see me. I work to understand their parenting style and provide support based on their beliefs. Shouldn’t I extend the same grace to myself? Shouldn’t we all support one another? When did parenting become as critical as high school? With all the pressures of stretch marks, sleepless nights, and the challenge of nurturing little lives, I’m ready to throw in the metaphorical white towel.
In this journey of parenthood, let’s remember to embrace our unique paths. For those exploring options like home insemination, consider checking out this resource for helpful insights. And for those interested in improving fertility, this guide offers great advice. If you’re looking for valuable information about pregnancy, this article is an excellent resource.
Summary
Parenting is fraught with judgments, rules, and differing philosophies. As a child therapist and parent, it’s important to navigate these challenges with grace and self-acceptance. Embracing our unique journeys and supporting one another can help alleviate the pressures of raising children in today’s world.
Keyphrase: Parenting insights from a child therapist
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”