Being a mother is a title I wear, but I often find myself prefacing it with “not-so-great.” To claim the title of “mom” without that qualifier would be unfair to the countless mothers out there who are striving to do their best. I wholeheartedly believe in nurturing and loving children, making sacrifices, and pouring oneself into the role of motherhood. Yet, in the reality of my everyday life, I often fall short of these ideals. So, I label myself as a not-so-great mom.
This isn’t a trendy statement—it’s a truth I grapple with. I openly embrace my shortcomings in writing, but when it comes to my children, self-forgiveness doesn’t come as easily. I live in a world of contradictions. For instance, I hold the belief that introducing music to children early on is crucial for their creative growth. However, my idea of suitable music often consists of blasting Tupac’s iconic lyrics while waiting in the carpool line. Let’s just say they’re hardly the classic tunes I advocate for.
I enjoy the occasional drink, but let’s be real: sometimes I indulge a bit too much. There are nights when I might even slur my way through beloved bedtime stories. I raise my voice over trivial matters like toy clean-up or bedtime routines, and then, ironically, I end up yelling at them for raising their voices.
And yes, I let the TV serve as a babysitter more often than I’d like to admit. It entertains my kids while I catch up with friends, cook dinner, or take a much-needed shower. If I manage to sneak away for a few moments of peace, I might find myself scrolling through social media while telling my children that “mommy is busy.”
In my quest to shield my kids from harm, I often forget sunscreen, and I can’t seem to locate the hand sanitizer when they need it most. Dessert appears on our menu more frequently than it should, and yes, we’ve had our share of McDonald’s Happy Meals. I sometimes let a curse word slip in front of them, and they’ve taken to repeating it. Oops.
I’ve also been known to promise “five more minutes” before engaging in their activities, a promise that often stretches into an hour or longer. It’s a struggle.
As a young woman, I was bombarded with images of motherhood that felt unattainable. I faced the reality of an unexpected pregnancy that made me question my future. My career ambitions seemed to dim, and I feared the constraints of motherhood would overshadow my dreams. I was petrified of the changes that would come, and when I did become a mother, I felt shattered inside.
When my children were born—just 16 months apart—I felt as if I had been disassembled. I often found myself in tears, struggling to connect with my little ones. I longed to forge a deep bond but could only muster a basic instinctual love. I found myself questioning my desires: What does it mean to be a mother? Why can’t I embrace this role the way others seem to?
The guilt of not measuring up to other mothers weighed heavily on me, yet I slowly began to accept that I could be a great mom despite my flaws. I learned to appreciate my imperfections and recognize that a “bad” mom can still be loving and caring.
I now take pride in my role as a mom. I give hugs and kisses, read bedtime stories, and ensure my kids eat their fruits and veggies. I enroll them in activities, though I’m cautious not to overdo it. I obsess over their education and nurture their interests, even if I sometimes succumb to the allure of another stuffed animal for their collection.
I teach my children about respect, diversity, and kindness, encouraging them to embrace all humanity—except for the not-so-nice individuals. I want them to explore the world and appreciate its cultures, while also learning to listen to their own voices.
While I recognize that I could strive for improvement, I embrace the fact that I am a not-so-great mom. And I’d much rather be a not-so-great mom than be absent from their lives altogether.
For those on their motherhood journey, whether through traditional routes or considering options like at-home insemination, there are resources available. Check out this useful guide on family-building options and consider exploring more about boosting fertility with supplements. If you’re interested in the practicalities of self insemination, you might find our post on the at-home insemination kit enlightening.
In summary, being a mom is messy and imperfect, and that’s perfectly okay. Embrace your journey, flaws and all.
Keyphrase: Not-so-great mom
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