About 20 years ago, my father shared a key piece of advice while we were doing dishes together: “If you want something in life, you have to position yourself to attain it. Don’t rely on anyone else.” This conversation likely stemmed from a typical teenage plea for the latest fashion item or gadget. However, his words became my first lesson in feminism: embrace independence, take charge of your life, and shape your own destiny. He also instilled in me the belief that I am just as capable and deserving of opportunities as anyone else.
As parents, we are always imparting lessons—whether through our actions, words, or the values we exhibit. It’s crucial that we remain conscious of our ideals so that our children absorb these lessons, whether they come from casual conversations or structured teaching moments.
My family may resemble a scene from a classic 1950s sitcom (my partner works while I stay home with our kids), but I identify as a feminist because I believe in equality for all. With two sons, it’s vital that they understand feminism and gender equality, and how these concepts manifest in the world around them. Gender inequality affects everyone, and it’s our responsibility to counteract the stereotypes and biases that society imposes from a young age. We must embed the principles of feminism and equality deeply within our family’s values, allowing them to naturally emerge in everyday life—whether during playdates, sports, or even while cleaning up after dinner.
There are plenty of resources highlighting feminist lessons for daughters, but I wanted to create a list tailored specifically for the challenges I anticipate with my sons. So, here are 25 key lessons in feminism for our boys:
- Feminism isn’t synonymous with femininity; it’s about equality.
- Being a boy doesn’t preclude you from being a feminist. Enjoying sports and action movies doesn’t make you any less committed to equality, just as engaging in traditionally feminine activities doesn’t diminish my feminist stance.
- Expressing emotions, including crying, is healthy—just ensure it’s done respectfully.
- Cultivate friendships with girls; they bring unique perspectives to life.
- Interests are not gendered—girls can love trucks and superheroes, while boys can enjoy tea parties and princesses.
- The phrases “like a man” or “like a girl” are meaningless—ignore them.
- Strength and sensitivity can coexist; both are valuable traits.
- Your anatomy doesn’t grant you special privileges; it simply makes you human.
- Hold doors open—not due to outdated traditions, but as a gesture of kindness.
- True beauty radiates from within, not just from appearance.
- When dating, treat your partner with respect—buying dinner or flowers should be about kindness, not expectations.
- Engage in sexual relationships only when both parties are ready—not due to peer pressure.
- “No” is definitive; silence or uncertainty also signify refusal. Only an enthusiastic “yes” is consent.
- Surround yourself with individuals who inspire you to be your best self.
- Equal work deserves equal pay—it’s that straightforward.
- Your identity is not defined solely by gender, job, or financial status—kindness and respect are paramount.
- In marriage, your partner may choose to keep their last name; this choice reflects personal preference, not love.
- Providing for a family encompasses more than financial support.
- When making childcare decisions, prioritize what’s best for your family above all else.
- Despite societal stereotypes, men can and should share household responsibilities.
- Apologizing is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Acknowledge your privileges—financial, educational, or otherwise—and advocate for those without similar advantages.
- Cultivate empathy and compassion in all interactions.
- Embrace differences among individuals; they enrich our lives.
- Keep these lessons close to heart—not just for specific groups but as fundamental tenets of fairness and respect. They can contribute to a better world—one small step at a time.
This message resonates beyond personal anecdotes; it’s about fostering a more equitable society for everyone.
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In summary, teaching our children about equality and respect is essential for creating a just society. By instilling these values in our sons, we prepare them to embrace their roles in fostering a more inclusive world.
Keyphrase: Lessons in Feminism for Sons
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