We are living in a remarkable era. The Player Haters Official Organized Parenting Association (PHOOPA for short) has been established. This newfound organization has finally given a voice to all those parents who are weary of “playing.” The courageous moms and dads who have let their kids win at “Go Fish” for the last time, all while forcing smiles as tears threatened to spill from their eyes (those vacant, emotionless stares). The heroic parents who opted for a second child rather than endure the indignity of pretending to see a dragon in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. PHOOPA has breathed new life into our parenting journeys, and I applaud them.
But here’s the twist: I genuinely enjoy playing with my kids. SHHH! That’s a secret. I don’t want to be ousted from PHOOPA. I adore those folks, but I might just be a smidge less mature than they are. Here are ten things I’d happily set aside to engage in playtime with my little ones:
- Toilet Scrubbing. Sure, starting with this one may make me sound like a martyr, but I’d rather be Captain Hook from Jake and the Never Land Pirates a hundred times over instead of elbow-deep in the porcelain throne. (Am I doing it wrong if I’m elbow-deep? Probably, but after all this playtime, I’ve forgotten the proper cleaning methods.)
- Laundry. I know what you’re thinking. Really?! How can that be? Moms love laundry, right? That’s why no one has created that mythical folding machine we’ve all seen in memes. But I’m ready to break away from the pack; I’d much rather be Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid than the laundry attendant.
- Napping. Haha, just kidding! If it comes to that, I’ll play with the baby and score the best of both worlds. I can play and nap at once. Mind blown? Oh, you’ve already discovered that nifty trick? PHOOPA Chest Bump!
- Phone Conversations. I’m not what you’d call a chatty person. Unless it’s on a toy phone, planning an imaginary party for my daughter and inviting all the princesses. I can talk endlessly about that using my old flip phone.
- Weeding. Yard work? No, thank you. I’d rather soak my kids with water guns first! By the time we’re done with our water fight, the day has slipped away and I won’t have to deal with the weeds.
- Cleaning Out the Closet. You know, the one where we stash everything before company shows up? I wouldn’t touch that with someone else’s 10-foot pole. Instead, let’s whip up some shaving cream and food coloring paints and avoid the mess in that closet.
- Yoga. That yoga mat is much better suited for a fashion runway show staged by my daughters and me. Plus, I can bust out the warrior pose at the end of the runway for extra flair. Picture it: warrior pose mixed with my best Blue Steel! Chills, right?
- Taking Out the Trash. Garbage? Who cares? I’m busy hosting a Matching Game tournament and running karaoke.
- Dusting. Ugh! I’d much rather be patient zero in my daughters’ makeshift hospital room than deal with the sneezes that come from stirring up dust.
- Leaving the House. Seriously, to leave the house, you have to get dressed. I dislike that about life. I can play all day in my pajamas, no bra required. And I can even throw on my wedding dress and parade around the house without anyone batting an eye. In fact, they encourage this type of madness!
I’m truly grateful for PHOOPA’s efforts to celebrate every style of parenting. I look forward to the day when we can all parent in our own unique ways without judgment.
Disclaimer: PHOOPA is not an actual organization … yet. I’ve been brainstorming slogans, though: “I’m not a player, I just want to read a lot.” “Don’t hate the player, hate the tears they shed when they lose.” “Hold on to your poopa ’cause here comes PHOOPA.” I think there’s potential here!
In summary, while many typical chores and responsibilities can feel like burdens, the joy of playtime with kids can make it all worthwhile. Whether it’s dodging dust bunnies or avoiding the weeds, the most fulfilling moments come from embracing the fun and creativity of parenting. If you’re considering different paths to parenthood, check out this excellent resource on IVF, or explore at-home insemination kits for your journey.
Keyphrase: playful parenting
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