50 Reasons Your Toddler Might Be Wide Awake Right Now

  1. Toddler’s socks feel uncomfortable.
  2. Dinner that was once deemed unacceptable is now the only thing they want to eat. Yes, it’s that plain pasta with butter that was too spicy earlier.
  3. Toddler is demanding a pajama change for deeply personal reasons. The religion is called Being Annoying, and they are a devoted follower.
  4. The seams on toddler’s socks are upside down. This is a code red. How could you allow this to happen? Immediate intervention required.
  5. Toddler needs a drink of water, but not just any water. It must be a specific red cup from downstairs—the one that’s actually dirty and in the dishwasher. Oh wait, it’s at Target in the cup aisle.
  6. Pillow’s temperature is too high.
  7. Pillow feels suspiciously cold. Toddler wants a detailed lecture on why pillows may be colder than average. Go.
  8. Toddler feels frightened.
  9. Toddler desires to brush his teeth again—this time with frosting instead of toothpaste. Finger brush is preferred.
  10. Toddler has a theological question.
  11. Toddler is curious about the process of birth. All moms understand that this inquiry is best answered by looking at other resources.
  12. Toddler is giggling uncontrollably because it’s just so bizarre.
  13. Toddler wants you to sleep in their tiny toddler bed. Stop moving around—you’re disrupting the sacred space.
  14. Toddler requests another story. Make sure it includes a dog, a unicorn, a cherry tree, a delicious pie, a rainforest, several marbles, chicken wings, and a triumphant ending. Don’t forget to set it in the future.
  15. Toddler needs one more kiss.
  16. Toddler requires one more hug.
  17. Toddler wants you to maintain a rigid posture in the doorway—like a royal guard who can’t fidget.
  18. Toddler wishes to inspect her reflection in the mirror to check for changes every five minutes.
  19. Toddler insists on calling grandma for a very private conversation that does not concern you.
  20. Toddler requests a Cobb Salad with no lettuce, chicken, cheese, tomatoes, eggs, dressing, onion, or avocado. Just bacon, please.
  21. Toddler’s nose feels peculiar inside. Bring a flashlight to investigate but don’t touch it—it’s painful.
  22. Toddler wants a Band-Aid for a healed boo-boo from six months ago because they believe in internal injuries.
  23. Toddler claims their legs are dry. Please rub in some lotion—warm it up first. We’re not animals here!
  24. Toddler requires back rubs. Just a quick 45 minutes to 5 hours will suffice. You can stop once it’s morning.
  25. Toddler wants to plan the theme for their next birthday party.
  26. Toddler’s ear seems to be gone. Oh, false alarm, there it is!
  27. Toddler’s blanket doesn’t feel right tonight. Even though it’s the same one, it’s suddenly become unacceptable. You must now act as a blanket.
  28. Toddler demands to watch TV.
  29. Toddler feels compelled to explain why they now despise their best friend. Agree with everything for your own safety.
  30. Toddler wants to talk to Santa Claus.
  31. Toddler is curious about your age. Please present two forms of ID for verification.
  32. Toddler wants to share your bed.
  33. Toddler requires four convincing reasons why sleeping in your bed is off-limits.
  34. Toddler needs to cry for a few minutes for reasons that are beyond comprehension.
  35. Toddler needs to blow her nose.
  36. Toddler just remembered dessert never happened.
  37. Toddler accuses you of being a liar for withholding sweets.
  38. Toddler must thrash about in bed to ensure everyone else is awake.
  39. Toddler requests a bed remaking because it’s somehow now messy.
  40. Toddler needs a fresh Pull-Up to help you get through that oversized box of overpriced diapers.
  41. The Pull-Up design is unacceptable. Toddler requires reassurance that it won’t come alive and attack them.
  42. Toddler insists on changing PJs to match the terrifying Pull-Up design. Perhaps a costume from Halloween?
  43. Toddler just realized her beloved stuffed animal is wedged in the car seat and covered in crumbs.
  44. Toddler needs to be tucked in again.
  45. Toddler thinks they heard a noise.
  46. Toddler requires perimeter security to ensure safety.
  47. Toddler needs another kiss and hug because the previous 800 have expired.
  48. Toddler wants a snack. Something simple like fondue or a fish taco.
  49. Toddler wants to know if the local Subway is open.
  50. Toddler has to go potty.

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In summary, parenting during the night can be a whirlwind of needs and requests, each more creative than the last. From comfort to questions about life, toddlers have an endless list of reasons they might stay awake. So, prepare yourself, and remember that tomorrow is a new day!

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