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Parenting
The Mom I Critique the Most
by Jamie Lewis
Updated: Aug. 6, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 2, 2015
Recently, I found myself harshly judging another mom. I know it’s not right, but let me tell you about her… She opted for a C-section instead of natural childbirth, and she stopped breastfeeding her baby at a surprisingly early age.
She treats her toddlers to donuts right before nap time—donuts! And to top it off, she gives them apple juice just before bed! One time, I saw her yell at her son when he spilled her coffee, and she still hands her one-year-old a bottle. Her three-year-old is still in diapers, too.
I noticed her kids darting away from her outside more than once this week. She chased after them, dropping everything from her purse while tripping over her yoga pants, which she seems to live in. She doesn’t shower daily and was caught sneaking peanut butter M&M’s in the kitchen while her one-year-old threw a fit. She lets her kids cry it out… except when she doesn’t. Can’t she just pick a consistent method?
In nearly every photo she shares on social media, her kids are running around without clothes. She keeps them confined to a Super Play Yard, which feels like a baby jail. I watched her kids spill Cheerios on the floor and then eat them right off the ground! She blatantly bribes her kids with cookies in public, and once, she dozed off on the couch while her kids were parked in front of the TV, in baby jail, munching on Cheerios.
At the grocery store, her son wouldn’t sit still in the cart, while the other one was trying to open and likely drink a bottle of shampoo. During meals, her oldest cries about having to eat—unless, of course, she’s offering him donuts. She drinks Diet Coke on a daily basis, and her apartment is often in disarray, decorated with random DIY art that makes no sense at all.
She keeps saying she’ll start exercising or go on a diet, yet I haven’t seen any change in her figure. Her wardrobe is plain and she could really use a haircut. Her family is always running late, and her one-year-old still wakes up at night, taking forever to fall back asleep. She craves alone time and sometimes wishes for a couple of days without her kids. Why does she need that? She’s a stay-at-home mom who gets to wear yoga pants all day and nap on the couch—doesn’t that sound like a dream?
This mom I’ve been criticizing? Yeah, that’s me. Lately, I’ve been so preoccupied with what others think of me and my parenting that I’ve become reclusive. I avoid outings with my kids, fearing tantrums, disobedience, or a meltdown (mine). I keep many parenting choices private because I know someone will judge or offer unsolicited advice. I won’t even let my partner post pictures on social media if the background isn’t spotless or if my youngest is seen with a bottle. My life has become so consumed by the opinions of others that I’ve forgotten to enjoy it.
My new mantra is: WHO CARES!? People judge others to feel better about their own shortcomings. And while some advice comes from a good place, I can choose to listen without getting defensive, even if I don’t follow it. I may not be perfect, but I am a GOOD mom, and I know that. So, from now on, let others scrutinize my parenting choices all they want.
I even provided them with this handy list.
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In summary, let’s support each other in our parenting journeys instead of passing judgment. No one is perfect, and we all have our struggles.
Keyphrase: judging parenting choices
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