In this ongoing series, a stay-at-home mom shares her experiences as her youngest daughter embarks on her senior year of high school and the college admission journey. Alongside this, she reflects on her own path toward an empty nest and contemplates what lies ahead as her role as a full-time mom transitions.
August has always felt like a signal that summer is winding down. Days grow shorter, back-to-school ads flood the airwaves, and fall decor begins to fill store shelves. Yet this August carries an even deeper significance for me. My youngest child is gearing up for her final year of high school, which means that in just a year, I’ll be stepping into the realm of empty-nesting, at least part-time, as she heads off to college.
Eighteen years ago, I made the decision to leave my position as managing editor at a small publishing house in New York to dedicate myself to being a stay-at-home mom. I had a 3-year-old daughter and was four months pregnant with my second. My job had lost its appeal, and the two-hour commute was becoming overwhelming, especially with two little ones to care for. Although my husband and I were apprehensive about living on a single income, we decided to take a leap of faith—I would spend a year at home during our new baby’s first year, then seek out a job that would hopefully be more fulfilling and closer to home. “Just one year,” I promised my husband the night before I put in my notice.
That one year expanded into two, then five, and ultimately stretched to eighteen. Over the years, as finances tightened, I considered re-entering the workforce. I went on interviews and received job offers, but each time, I found myself drawn back to the home life I cherished. Despite the financial pressures—I recognized how fortunate I was to even have a choice—I relished being present for my daughters. I became actively involved in their elementary school, started my own nonprofit, and eventually returned to my passion for writing, contributing freelance pieces to a local newspaper. I’ve penned and self-published three novels and had essays featured on various platforms. Each year, I’ve asked myself if this would finally be the year I return to work, and each year, I’ve come up with reasons to stay put.
My younger daughter has needed my unwavering support. When people ask why I don’t work, I gently correct them—I don’t work outside my home. This conversation often arises at social gatherings, and I explain that my daughter is my primary focus. She has required my attention every minute of every day, even during school hours.
Now, however, she’s preparing to leave the nest. We toured colleges last year, and she’s crafted her list of potential schools. She’s completed her SATs and ACTs, and asked two teachers for recommendations. While she’s thrilled at the prospect of college, she harbors some fears. She dislikes being away from home, even for sleepovers, and finds comfort in routine. Yet, she’s also eager to meet new friends and gain independence.
I’m excited to assist her during this pivotal transition into adulthood. The significant question remains: Where will she choose to begin her next chapter? Will it be the small school across the country with its unique block scheduling? The liberal arts state university where she felt an instant connection? Or perhaps the larger private college just a four-hour drive away, offering countless major options? What will she be doing a year from now?
Simultaneously, I find myself pondering my own future. What will I be doing this time next year? While many of my friends have returned to the workforce, most full-time, navigating various childcare solutions throughout the years, I have taken a different path. Some have worked part-time while their kids were young, advancing their careers, while others have pursued degrees to re-enter the job market. I’ve not done any of this.
Should I consider part-time or full-time work? Can I find something in this competitive market? Would it be wise to volunteer in a field that interests me, or should I take time to adjust after my daughter leaves? Should I explore new opportunities or focus on familiar territory? I could continue writing novels indefinitely, but is that enough?
At 47, after 21 years devoted to raising my children, I stand on the brink of a new phase. Yet, what does this new phase entail? It feels like the beginning of the end—for both my daughter and me.
This article was originally published on Aug. 2, 2015.
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Summary
As she prepares for her youngest daughter’s senior year, a stay-at-home mom reflects on the changes that lie ahead for both of them. While her daughter is ready to embrace college life, the mom contemplates her next steps as she faces the prospect of an empty nest and a new chapter in her own life.
Keyphrase: Senior Year Transition
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