By: Jessica Hart
Updated: June 15, 2016
Originally Published: July 30, 2015
Ah, summer! Those blissful, sun-soaked days filled with swimming, barbecues, late-night adventures, and, of course, the annual onslaught of hotdogs and flip-flops. But honestly? Summer can kiss my sweaty backside—I’m done with it. Sure, it brings some delightful moments, but I hit my limit approximately three weeks ago.
With the kids at home, my meticulously organized life goes completely off the rails. When the first back-to-school commercials aired, my children were despondent, their little faces twisted in grief. Meanwhile, I made a grand, calculated retreat to the kitchen to do a little happy jig out of their sight—because I’m kind like that. At first, I kept my excitement under wraps.
But by the end of the week? They witnessed my full-blown dance party right in front of those Target ads. #Sorrynotsorry. My joy was simply too much to hide. And maybe my Advent calendar, counting down to that glorious FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (with a surprise mini liquor bottle), was a tad excessive, but can you blame me? For me, back-to-school time is like “Christmas for Moms”—the most wonderful time of the year! Forget Santa; I’m eagerly awaiting the big yellow bus that rolls down the street.
Some may not share my enthusiasm, but here’s a curated list of things I can’t wait for once the kids are back in school:
Sweet Silence
Did you know kids never stop talking? They’re always asking questions, showing you the latest Minecraft videos, or bickering like it’s an Olympic sport. The constant noise is overwhelming. I cherish their laughter, but the sound of silence is music to my ears. The only time they’re quiet is when they’re up to something sneaky or glued to questionable YouTube videos with headphones. And then it’s my turn to yell.
I’m so ready for the peace that follows that school bell ringing, where the only sound is the gentle sigh of my own breath returning to normal.
Bedtime Bliss
Kids need sleep, and I need them to be unconscious so I can finally catch up on my shows. During the school year, I’m a strict bedtime general—mainly for my own sanity. Summer, however, has no bedtime structure, meaning my binge-watching plans for “Orange Is The New Black” are tossed out the window, and that really gets me riled up. And let’s not even discuss the complete lack of “adult time” when the kids are around. They don’t care if you just watched three episodes of “Outlander” and are ready to unwind.
A Real Schedule
The carefree vibe of summer is fun—for a week. After that, I find myself accomplishing nothing. I lack self-discipline without a routine. But when it’s time to get the kids up and out the door, I’m awake and surprisingly productive. Who knew coffee could transform me into a morning person? Shocker!
Actual Hygiene
I make a half-hearted attempt to keep my kids clean during summer, but let’s be real: it’s a losing battle. “Is the pool water fluoridated?” becomes my excuse for their summertime hygiene routine. But during the school year? Hygiene is non-negotiable. I’m excited for fresh breath to return!
Solo Grocery Shopping
I miss the days I could shop alone. Driving, showering, peeing—you name it, doing anything solo feels like a mini-vacation. Grocery shopping without kids is pure bliss. I miss dancing down the aisles to ’80s hits, reading labels, and chatting with the wine guy. When the kids tag along, they whine, I wine, and we leave in chaos with a cart full of junk food. Grocery shopping alone? Yes, please!
Food in the House
When the kids are around, they’re always hungry. Their friends are always hungry. The pantry is an endless cycle of emptiness, even after a hefty grocery run. And if you thought you were saving a treat for yourself? Think again. Kids seem to have a sixth sense for locating your hidden stash. I’m looking forward to stocking up on snacks I actually enjoy, only to find them still there an hour later when I want to indulge.
Regeneration of Limbs
In summer, my children become these helpless, immobile beings incapable of even grabbing a glass of water. They simply call out for me to fetch them snacks or drinks while they lie on the couch. But come August, like magic, their limbs regenerate, and they can walk again! I can’t wait to witness this transformation and retire from my role as their butler.
These are just a few reasons I’m completely over summer. Back-to-school can’t come soon enough! Sure, I know I’ll miss them eventually, but first, they need to GO AWAY!
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In summary, while summer has its perks, the joys of routine, peace, and a little indulgence come rushing back with the return to school. It’s the season of silence, structure, and sanity—something every parent craves!
Keyphrase: summer break struggles
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