Discovering you’re expecting can trigger a rollercoaster of feelings: relief, excitement, and for those who have faced the heartbreak of a previous loss, a fair bit of anxiety. For mothers who have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, the journey to a new pregnancy is often laden with apprehension and uncertainty.
When a woman finds herself pregnant again after such a profound loss, the joy of anticipation can be overshadowed by fear. Instead of eagerly planning for that 12-week ultrasound, she might instead recall the moment she received devastating news about her previous pregnancy. Each kick may not bring joy; instead, it can induce worry if she doesn’t feel movement at the expected times.
Supporting a mother in this delicate situation requires sensitivity and understanding. While people often try to offer encouragement, their words can sometimes miss the mark. Here are seven phrases to avoid, along with more supportive alternatives.
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What are you doing differently this time?
This question can inadvertently suggest that the previous loss was somehow the mother’s fault. She might already be wrestling with guilt over her past experiences. Instead, ask how you can support her through this pregnancy. Let her know you’re there to listen and share in her hopes. -
It’s going to work out.
For those who have suffered a loss, the belief that everything will go smoothly after the first trimester can feel naïve. The fear of the worst happening never truly disappears, regardless of the week. Instead of offering empty assurances, let her know you’re there to help navigate her stress, reminding her she’s not alone. -
You’re overthinking this.
It’s common for moms to ruminate on the “what-ifs.” Rather than dismissing her worries, be a sounding board. Show her that it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious and that you’re there to support her through those feelings. -
You’ve passed the worry mark!
The idea that pregnancy becomes safe after 12 weeks can be misleading and harmful, especially for those who have experienced loss. Instead of perpetuating this myth, be present for her during every stage of her pregnancy, offering comfort and understanding. -
I bet you’re so excited!
Pregnancy after a loss is often a mix of excitement and fear. Many mothers find it challenging to fully embrace joy after their previous experiences. Instead of assuming how she feels, provide her with space to express her true emotions. Some days she may be thrilled; other days she may feel dread. -
You’re going to be a MOM!
A mother who has lost a child is already a mom. She has loved and nurtured her baby, regardless of the outcome. Remind her that she is an incredible mother, navigating a complex journey, and commend her for being pregnant again. -
This child is meant to be.
Telling a grieving mother that her loss was meant to be can be deeply hurtful. Such statements can imply that the value of her lost child was diminished. Instead, assure her of your love and support for her and her new baby.
People often fear saying the wrong thing when trying to provide comfort. While it’s true that some phrases can unintentionally cause pain, offering a listening ear is always better than silence. If you want to learn more about navigating pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. You might also find valuable insights in our post about the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit, or explore the Impregnator At Home Insemination Kit, which provides guidance on this journey.
In summary, supporting a mother who is pregnant after loss requires empathy and patience. It’s vital to avoid phrases that might trigger feelings of guilt or anxiety and instead focus on being a source of comfort and understanding.
Keyphrase: supporting pregnant moms after loss
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