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Parenting
How to Enjoy Your Dinner in Peace (Even with Little Ones Around)
by Laura Jones
Updated: Feb. 28, 2016
Originally Published: July 27, 2015
Dining with my family often requires a superhuman level of patience and emotional resilience. By the time we finish, I’m left wondering if I even had a meal at all. Did I genuinely eat, or did the kids stealthily swipe everything off my plate while I leapt up multiple times to attend to one of their endless needs?
Don’t get me wrong; dinner isn’t entirely a nightmare. I cherish hearing about my kids’ adventures at school or camp, and I’ve become quite adept at feigning enthusiasm for their latest Minecraft creations. There’s something undeniably adorable about how they prop their little arms on the table, smearing spaghetti sauce across their faces. I genuinely enjoy these moments. And there are times when all four of us erupt into laughter because my 5-year-old produces the most epic fart.
These are the moments we treasure.
However, none of this mitigates the overwhelming challenge of dining as a family, which is that I often don’t get to relish my food. Enter the concept of “Second Dinner.”
Before we sit down, I prepare a full plate of food and tuck it away in the microwave. Then, I assemble a “dummy plate,” which my family believes is my actual dinner but is really just a few bites artfully arranged to create an illusion. Once I’m seated at the table, I “eat” with my loud, food-smacking family. (The food on the dummy plate? That’s for the dog.)
After the kids are tucked in and my husband has dozed off on the couch while watching Ancient Aliens, it’s time for my real meal—my Second Dinner.
I heat my food to perfection and … I savor it. Alone. In peace. No noise other than my own chewing, no slurping, no spills, and no random tantrums. I relish every bite in sweet, sweet silence. Yes, I have to wait a couple of hours to eat, but that anticipation only enhances the flavor!
Some might see Second Dinner as a selfish indulgence, but I assure you it’s for the greater good. Knowing my real dinner awaits me in the microwave significantly boosts my patience during the chaotic first dinner, which will ultimately impact my kids’ future therapy bills.
Before discovering Second Dinner, I’d either suppress my frustrations during meals or, on tougher days, I’d unleash my irritation, lamenting how my family was raised—like they came from a barn or were raised by wolves.
My husband’s chewing sounds like a cross between Darth Vader and a swamp creature, and while it’s not his fault (he has allergies that prevent nose breathing), asking him to hold his breath while chewing is “unreasonable.” (Or so he claims.)
And my kids? Like most, they can be pretty messy and, let’s be honest, a bit rude while eating. They’ve even pushed plates across the table in disgust! Yet, I’m determined to teach them table manners, so I find myself repeating, “Chew with your mouth closed,” “Say excuse me,” “Use your fork, not your fingers,” “You don’t have to eat it, but you must at least try it,” “Is that how we ask for things?” and “GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE TABLE!” night after night after night. I can’t take it anymore! I just want to enjoy my meal!
Thanks to Second Dinner, there’s no need for me to lose my cool at the first dinner. I can relax in my chair, pretend to nibble here and there, and simply enjoy the delightful chaos of my family.
Because I love them. And I love food. But, let’s be real, I don’t have to love them together.
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Summary
Enjoying dinner with little kids can be a challenge, but the concept of “Second Dinner” allows you to savor your meal in peace after the chaos. By preparing a hidden plate of food for later, you can endure the messiness of family dining while still relishing your meal alone. This approach helps maintain patience during the first dinner and fosters a loving environment at the table.
Keyphrase: Enjoying Dinner with Kids
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