Just the other day, I was nestled in our home library, engrossed in a book, blissfully aware that my rambunctious 3-year-old twins were supposed to be napping. However, the silence was shattered when I caught sight of one of them swinging from the top bunk like a little monkey, aiming for his brother’s bottom bunk. The other one was cackling with laughter.
“Get back in your bed!” I called out, startling him so much that he lost his grip and tumbled to the floor.
“You scared me!” he yelled while scrambling back up the ladder.
I felt no sympathy, because, honestly, how many times have I told him not to dangle off the edge like that? Probably at least twenty billion times.
My boys have this quirky ability to think they can pull a fast one on me, believing it’s safe to misbehave when they assume I’m not watching. It’s a classic misunderstanding that, with a household full of kids, is all too easy to see through.
Here’s the truth: this mom knows everything. So, as a guide to help them navigate this puzzling enigma, I’ve put together a handy list of things I always know.
- I Know What You’re Up To, Even If I Can’t See You.
Call it maternal instinct or just plain awareness—either way, I’m tuned in. When you sneak off to the bathroom, I know you’re just itching to play with the plunger, a habit you’ve cultivated over the years. I’m acutely aware that your upstairs expeditions lead you straight to Daddy’s forbidden computer, where your tiny fingers will obliterate his latest project before you dive into some Cool Math games. I know that when you think you’re escaping unnoticed, you’ll dart toward the neighbor’s rock path, despite the stern warnings. And if you beat me to the library, you’ll already have a mountain of books on the floor that you’ll attempt to hide under the couch. - I’m Always Paying Attention, Even When You Think I’m Not.
When that phone rings and you think I’m distracted, think again. I hear your little footsteps on the stairs as you plot a daring escape to dismantle the baby gate. I know the creaky closet door means you’re eyeing that hidden game of Battleship. You might think I’m engrossed in a conversation, but I’m still keenly aware when you try to sneak a cup from the dishwasher only to spill it three steps from the water dispenser, even though I just gave you milk in your Thermos. - As Soon as I Leave the Room, Trouble Brews.
If I step away to grab your baby brother, I know you’re gearing up to unleash chaos, like trying to pry open the LEGO container left on the counter or climbing onto the table to snatch that crayon from your sibling. I’m fully aware that if I slip away to put your baby brother down for a nap, you’ll dive into the fridge attempting to cram as many grapes as possible into your mouth before I return. - Silence Doesn’t Equal Innocence.
Quiet time often means you’ve found a crayon and are turning the carpet into your personal canvas. It might mean you’ve unraveled an entire roll of eco-friendly paper towels to create a makeshift bag for your toy cars, or you’re trying to squeeze into a shirt meant for a six-month-old. Don’t think your silence is fooling me. - I Know You.
I recognize your adventurous spirit that sends you racing out the door before I can even react. I see your creativity as you transform a door into an art project. I understand your curiosity, such as that time you submerged a car in a cup of water and placed it in the freezer just to see what would happen. I know your playful inclination leads you to view everyday items—a plunger, a roll of paper towels—as new toys. I appreciate your strong will that sees a challenge in every “don’t do that.”
And guess what? I love every wild and crazy part of you. But the next time you think about experimenting with a balloon in the toilet, remember this: you will be caught. I promise. A mom always knows. So, don’t even think about it.
For more parenting insights and tips, check out our related posts on boosting fertility and learn about home insemination kits for those considering starting a family. Also, visit March of Dimes for a fantastic resource on pregnancy and what to expect during those crucial weeks.