Today, I’m determined to embrace the age-old advice of prioritizing myself. After all, “If Mom isn’t feeling her best, how can she manage the chaos of family life?” Right?
I kick off my day by waking up before the kids—ah, the blissful five minutes at 6:00 a.m. to watch my coffee brew in peace. Just five minutes? I had envisioned at least thirty minutes of solitude! But, of course, my children’s uncanny ability to sense tranquility kicks in, and suddenly, my quiet time is a distant memory.
What’s the real difference between savoring a hot cup of coffee while pondering something crucial, like when I last had my eyebrows done, versus frantically scrolling through Pinterest and spilling cold coffee on my pajama bottoms while wondering how long I can let the TV entertain my kids before it starts melting their brains? Spoiler alert: not much. Great start, huh?
Next, I whip up a wholesome breakfast. Forget the studies that claim breakfast isn’t essential; I was raised with the belief that breakfast is a must! What a lovely feeling it is to know I’m starting the day right with fresh berries and yogurt. But wait—my kids decide they prefer my breakfast over the sugary cereals they begged for. Sure, you can have your own yogurt; yes, you can have some of my berries. Sharing is caring, after all!
Feeling somewhat accomplished, I decide to treat myself to a shower. They say getting clean and dressed sets you up for a productive day, even if I can lounge around in my Target maxi dress just as well as in my well-worn pajamas. I crank up the TV volume, shed my clothes, and finally, indulge in a moment of relaxation. But, of course, just as I begin to unwind, here comes a child bursting through the door.
“I have to pee!”
“Use the other bathroom!”
“But I want to be with you!”
“Fine, just don’t flush!”
I barely dodge the water as my moment of bliss is interrupted by a child’s urgent needs. Once again, I try to return to my peaceful shower when another little one barges in.
“I have to poop!”
“We have two bathrooms!”
“Can I shower with you?”
No, you cannot! I thought you had to poop. My plans for clean, smooth armpits are slipping away. As I turn off the water, I grab a towel and head to the living room, where a chaotic battle for the TV remote ensues, while my toddler has somehow managed to escape the baby gate to dance on the dining table. At least my clothes are safe from this mess!
The rest of the day continues in a similar vein: I care for my kids, so I can take care of myself, which leads to cleaning up after them. Eventually, I surrender. My new definition of successful self-care? Feeding everyone granola bars and fruit snacks until Dad gets home, at which point I can finally shave my armpits in peace.
If you’re on a similar journey of figuring out how to navigate self-care amidst the chaos, check out this guide on home insemination kits that might help you along the way. And for more insights, Cryobaby at-home insemination kit is also a great resource. For a comprehensive understanding of fertility treatments, visit ACOG’s excellent resource on treating infertility.
Summary:
In a humorous exploration of the challenges of self-care for mothers, Vanessa Green navigates the chaos that ensues when she tries to put herself first amidst her children’s unyielding demands. From a quiet morning coffee to a chaotic shower experience, she learns that true self-care may just mean a moment of peace when dad comes home.
Keyphrase: putting mommy first
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]