Every July, my kids eagerly tune in to the Discovery Channel’s much-anticipated “Shark Week,” hiding all the remotes for a full week of aquatic terror. Yes, I said remotes—plural. Why do we need multiple devices just to turn on the TV? Who knows, but they vanish nonetheless. The kids are determined to immerse themselves in the world of Megalodon without any adult interruptions, preferring to binge-watch instead of letting their parents enjoy something more age-appropriate on Netflix during those sweltering summer evenings.
You might wonder why my husband and I don’t simply escape to another room with a different TV or retreat to our laptops with headphones. The truth is, our kids want us to join them in this shark-infested viewing fest, believing it will create a bonding experience that brings us all closer—because what says family time better than watching sharks go on a feeding frenzy?
Never mind that much of the “science” behind these shows is often dubious at best. Those captivating, sometimes incomprehensible Australian accents, delivered by actors pretending to be marine biologists, are part of the “fun.” And, of course, the thrill of encountering fearsome sharks adds to the excitement.
Little do my kids know, we parents are grappling with our own childhood fears, courtesy of the iconic film Jaws. Whether you were a preteen watching it in theaters back in 1975, caught it on HBO in the 1980s, or saw it during summer drive-in screenings, that movie left a lasting impact. Remember the panic it instigated, making people afraid to swim anywhere—even in pools or bathtubs? It took us decades to feel comfortable in the water again, and now our kids want us not just to dip our toes but to dive right in. Thankfully, “Shark Week” wraps up just in time for our much-awaited beach trip. As we prepare to hit the shore for the first time in three years—where my husband is determined to surf—I realize I need some strategies to cope with my resurfaced fears.
Drawing some inspiration from the classic movie, here are five ways I plan to survive my beach vacation:
- Channel My Inner Mayor of Amity Island: Embrace Denial! Just like Mayor Vaughn, I’ll feign confidence while luring my family into the water, all while keeping my internal panic at bay. After all, we’re here to enjoy our beach getaway and support the local economy.
- Adopt a Scientific Mindset: When those waves reach my thighs, I might need to emulate the curiosity of Hooper. Instead of panicking, I can muse about what brushed against my leg—though I suspect this tactic will only last until I feel the water’s depths.
- Drink Like Quint: Perhaps the best way to cope with my fears is to find bliss at the bottom of a bottle. A few drinks might even lead me to sing “Show Me the Way to Go Home” before I consider a midnight swim—cue the Jaws theme music!
- Stay Afloat: I’ll stick to activities that keep me above water—like jet skiing or taking a boat ride. As long as I keep my limbs safe from the ocean’s depths, I can convince myself there’s nothing to fear.
- Be Like Brody: If all else fails, I might need to arm myself like Chief Brody. Should my imagination run wild with thoughts of Jaws sequels, I can prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Our family vacation to Cape Cod is just around the corner. And yes, I recently heard reports of two Great Whites spotted near Chatham. Thanks, kids—looks like we might need a bigger boat after all!
In summary, navigating vacation fears post-‘Shark Week’ can be a challenge, but with a little humor and some creative coping mechanisms, I might just survive the beach trip and make lasting memories with my family.
Keyphrase: beach vacation survival strategies
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