Are you a self-righteous know-it-all when it comes to parenting? Do you find yourself judging the choices others make for their kids? If so, you’ve stumbled into the right place. Welcome to your first step toward change.
I once walked in your shoes. I thought I had mastered the art of parenting and generously dispensed my wisdom like candy on Halloween. But there’s a significant difference between the two: on Halloween, children ask for candy. In my case, nobody sought my unsolicited advice. That was my Sanctimommy moment, and it might be yours too. The first step to evolving into a more compassionate person is to zip it unless someone specifically requests your opinion.
I understand that this is easier said than done. You believe you’ve cracked the code to parenting, and you might think you’re helping others by sharing your insights. But, let’s be real—parenting is not rocket science. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach for every child. Just stop right there. It doesn’t exist.
Do I really need to remind you that every person is unique? Yes? Alright, here it is: people are like snowflakes, each distinct and precious. We all come in different shapes and sizes with our own wants and needs. The parenting strategy that works for your child may not be suitable for mine. I know you have the “right” way, but the moment you understand that your method may not apply universally, you’ll shed your Sanctimommy persona and become just another mom—perfectly imperfect, yet earnestly trying.
The arrival of my second child was my awakening. He is nothing like my firstborn, and that’s when I truly grasped that there isn’t a universal guideline for parenting. Don’t get me wrong; I still hold strong opinions about raising children. Keeping them to myself can be challenging, but when it comes to sharing my thoughts with strangers online, I’ve learned to keep my hands in my pockets and walk away.
That’s the advice I’ll give you, my friend. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Live your picture-perfect life with your ideal family, and perhaps consider writing down your insights as a memoir or a parenting guide. Just imagine gifting it to your future daughter-in-law at her baby shower—she’ll surely appreciate the unsolicited parenting tips. Wouldn’t you have loved receiving something like that from your partner’s mom? No?
Now, do you see the light? Has it registered yet?
This article was originally published on July 12, 2015.
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Summary:
In this reimagined reflection, Jamie Collins candidly shares her transformation from a self-righteous Sanctimommy to a more empathetic parent. By recognizing that parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all endeavor, she encourages others to keep their unsolicited advice to themselves and to embrace the unique challenges of raising children. The article highlights the importance of understanding individual differences among children and offers resources for those exploring home insemination and pregnancy.
Keyphrase: sanctimommy transformation
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