Many have drawn parallels between toddlers and zombies, likening the experience of motherhood to a never-ending episode of The Walking Dead. I can see the similarities: the drool, the nonsensical babble, and the relentless urge to gnaw on everything in sight. However, I propose that nearly every horror film out there is, in some form or another, inspired by the chaotic antics of our little bundles of joy.
Cujo
The iconic scene where the dog attempts to break into the car? Clearly penned by someone who foolishly thought closing the bathroom door would grant them a moment of peace.
Aliens
That moment when the alien licks Sigourney Weaver’s face? It’s obvious that this was dreamt up by a parent who has had the misfortune of co-sleeping with a toddler testing to see if they are actually asleep.
Jaws
Every day, I find myself in the kitchen fending off bites from my teething toddler. And if you squint hard enough, the mast of that boat could easily be mistaken for a kitchen stool. Am I right?
The Exorcist
Let’s be honest; this entire film is a metaphor for a cute little child navigating their terrible twos. The infamous pea soup scene? We’ve all been there, trying to sneak pureed veggies into their favorite fruit smoothie.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
If this doesn’t capture the essence of a toddler pre- and post-nap, I don’t know what does.
28 Days Later
The rage virus? It’s real, and it thrives in toddlers. The only remedy is time. Enough said.
Pet Sematary
The creators didn’t hold back when crafting the vengeful, post-death Gage. Every toddler has the potential for this level of chaos; some just haven’t figured out how to turn it on yet.
The Blair Witch Project
The climactic ending where one character stands in the corner while another screams is a daily occurrence in my life. Instead, I find myself in front of the fridge, mindlessly munching on whatever I can grab while my toddler repeatedly yells, “Mommmmmy!” It’s likely that one of the writers had a child named Blair.
Rosemary’s Baby
I can’t overlook the original evil baby film. While Adrian doesn’t fully showcase his potential as the spawn of Satan, every parent knows what he could unleash.
Did I miss any other films that fit this theme? Share your thoughts in the comments!
For more parenting insights, check out this guide to at-home insemination kits. And if you’re looking for an authoritative source on the subject, this site is a great resource. You can also find more information on options for family building at Resolve.
In summary, while horror films may seem far removed from parenting, the parallels are striking and often humorous. From the monstrous behaviors of toddlers to the intense situations in horror movies, it’s clear that the real-life chaos of raising little ones can inspire some truly terrifying—and entertaining—narratives.
Keyphrase: Horror Movies About Toddlers
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]