Entering the world of fitness later in life has been quite the journey for me. In my younger years, my metabolism was my best friend, allowing me to indulge without a second thought. The gym? Not a priority. Occasionally, I’d brave the dreaded treadmill and high-energy aerobics classes, but I always made it a point to change at home—because, well, modesty and my lady bits.
Fast forward to my 30s when motherhood changed everything. After two C-sections, my once-toned abs were gone, and while running gave me strong thighs, it also resulted in some unfortunate chest-related challenges. If I wanted to keep up with my energetic toddlers, I had to get serious about fitness. Desperate for a breather from the little ones, I started changing at the gym.
Then something remarkable happens as women inch toward 40: a collective shrug toward locker room norms. Perhaps it’s due to the experience of showing your bits to a roomful of strangers during childbirth or the casualness of breastfeeding in public while wrangling toddlers. Regardless, women over 40 seem to embrace a newfound liberality in the locker room.
Step into a bustling women’s locker room, and you’ll find an array of confident ladies, comfortable in their own skin. Conversations flow freely—recipes, the latest episode of their favorite reality show, and personal stories shared like it’s the most natural thing in the world. For a newcomer, it can be overwhelming to navigate the openness amidst the casual nudity.
You may think I’m exaggerating. But trust me, if you ever witness it, you’d swear you were in a community center bathroom. I can’t help but admire those women who boldly own their bodies. As I’ve crossed into my 40s, I still haven’t mustered the bravery to flaunt my not-so-perky breasts and C-section scars for all to see.
A few years back, I visited my gym to swim laps and escape the chaos of bedtime with my kids. While attempting to discreetly maneuver into my swimsuit, a woman in her 60s stepped out of the shower, completely uninhibited. We exchanged pleasantries, and I tried to maintain my modesty.
But this woman? She exuded zero concern for decorum. It was as if she hadn’t cared since the early ’80s. She settled onto a towel like it was a saddle and began drying off with a fervor that was both impressive and shocking. I silently wished the tiles would swallow me whole.
Once she finished drying, she produced a massive jar of Vaseline from her locker. In an act that left me in utter disbelief, she proceeded to moisturize every inch of herself—no body part left unattended. As she casually chatted about her grandson’s birthday party, I could hardly focus on my own attempts at getting dressed without feeling like I was intruding on a private spectacle.
And then, oh dear Lord—she took it a step further. With one leg perched on the bench, she applied the Vaseline in a way that made me question everything I thought I knew about locker room etiquette. I was left to endure this slow-motion train wreck while trying to squeeze my mom-bod into my suit.
I must admit, I felt utterly mortified that day. While I embrace the wisdom of my 40s, that level of locker room freedom still eludes me. Call me uptight, but I’m just not ready to parade my less-than-ideal body in front of strangers. Maybe that day will come, but until then, I’ll reserve my private moments for the bathroom stall—because some things are best kept under wraps.
This article was originally published on June 28, 2015.
Want to dive deeper into topics like this? Check out our blog post on couples’ fertility journeys for more insights. And if you’re seeking resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent place to start.