My Unfailing Way to Handle ‘I’m Bored’

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Parenting

By Jamie Collins

My 5-year-old has recently picked up the phrase “I’m bored,” and honestly, it sends a chill down my spine. I had assumed I had a few more years before he reached this milestone of ennui. After all, he’s still quite entertained by the simple joy of transferring coins from one jar to another. Yet, here we are: “Mom, I’m bored.”

Initially, I tried to alleviate his boredom each time he voiced it. I reminded him of his toys, suggested books to read, or encouraged him to play with his sibling. Like my own mother used to do, I even resorted to threatening him with chores.

But a few months back, I embarked on a long weekend challenge—going completely screen-free. I underestimated the difficulty of this task, yet by the end of those three days, something unexpected happened. I rediscovered the feeling of boredom, a sensation I hadn’t experienced in years. With the arrival of my smartphone, every spare moment had been consumed by quick checks of notifications or scrolling through headlines. Coincidentally, during this same time, I had been lamenting my dwindling creativity, often attributing it to the demands of parenting and the lack of free time.

Then, I stumbled upon “Bored and Brilliant,” a captivating initiative on WNYC that urged listeners to forgo their phones for a full week. Manoush Zomorodi, the host of Note to Self, highlighted something intriguing: boredom can actually spark creativity. It’s only by enduring those uncomfortable moments of wanting stimulation—and resisting the urge to fill that void—that we allow our creative juices to flow.

Boredom isn’t simply about having nothing to do; it’s a clash between our desire for stimulation and the reality we experience. According to psychologist John Eastwood, a bored individual craves engagement but struggles to connect with their surroundings—a state he refers to as an “unengaged mind.” Dr. Teresa Belton, a professor at the University of East Anglia, found that this gap between desire and stimulation is where creativity thrives. In her interviews with creative professionals, many cited boredom as the catalyst that pushed them to explore new avenues. If we never allow ourselves to feel bored, we close off the mental space necessary for creativity.

In America, we have a deep-seated fear of boredom, often equating it with laziness or a lack of intelligence. We glorify busyness and productivity, viewing boredom as a problem to be fixed. So when my son meanders into the kitchen declaring, “I’m bored,” my instinct is to jump into action and suggest activities. But after my enlightening experience with the “Bored and Brilliant” challenge, I had a revelation about boredom. Now, whenever he complains, I calmly respond, “It’s perfectly okay to be bored.”

Initially, he was not pleased. “It’s NOT okay to be bored!” he protested, having absorbed the cultural belief that being entertained is essential. I simply replied, “Actually, it is,” and continued with my day, allowing him to sit with his boredom. The other day, he surprised me by constructing a “printer/shredder” out of yoga blocks and paper towel tubes—where one prints a page only for it to be shot down a tube and shredded. (I guess he’s also picked up some writerly habits.)

When he grew tired of that, he lounged on the couch, gazing out the window. I refrained from suggesting he draw or read, instead putting my phone away and lying down next to him. Because it’s okay to be bored.

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In summary, embracing boredom can foster creativity in children and adults alike. By allowing our kids to experience moments of unstructured time, we help them cultivate their imaginative skills and discover new interests.

Keyphrase: Embracing Boredom in Kids

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