14 Things Every Midwestern Kid Knows

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For those who haven’t experienced the charm of the Midwest, here are 14 things that define our upbringing:

  1. The Myth of Cow Tipping: While it’s said that some cows have seen the ground from a different angle, cow tipping isn’t as common as outsiders believe. We all know a guy named Jake who claims to have tipped more cows than anyone else, but let’s be real—it’s more of a legend than a sport.
  2. Burn Barrels are Essential: Living in the hilly Midwest means mastering the art of the burn barrel. Whether you’re prepping a sled for winter or getting a fire going, you’ll hear phrases like “Step back, you might get burned!” and “Just put some butter on it, you’ll be alright.”
  3. Catholic Church Festivals Reign Supreme: No one does summer festivals like we do. From buttery corn to sturdy rides, these gatherings are a staple. And the cakewalks? Forget store-bought; we only accept homemade goodness.
  4. Snow and Ice Driving Skills: Those stranded on the roadside? They’re probably new to the area. We’ve mastered navigating through winter’s worst.
  5. Cornhole: A Mixed Bag: Not every Midwesterner is a fan of tossing bags at boards. While some find it thrilling, others would rather pass. Still, we’ve all given it a shot at least once.
  6. High School Loyalty: When meeting someone new, you can bet the conversation will quickly shift to which high school you attended. Forget college; it’s all about those formative years.
  7. Weather Commentary is a Must: “Not a fan of this weather? Just wait five minutes!” It’s a Midwestern rite of passage to remind you how it was freezing last winter when you’re sweating in the summer.
  8. Euchre is Serious Business: Whether you’re in a tournament or a casual game, euchre requires serious discussions about rules. We can make a fun afternoon out of a half deck of cards.
  9. Tractor Pulls Are Irresistible: We might poke fun at them, but let’s be honest—if there’s a tractor pull nearby, you can count on us being there.
  10. Open Doors and Open Fridges: Any kid who steps into our home will likely find themselves offered snacks. If they decline, we’ll ask again—because that’s just what we do.
  11. Jell-O Molds Are a Tradition: Once we hit 50, there’s an unspoken obligation to create colorful concoctions suspended in gelatin, just like the women before us.
  12. We Have Our Own Beaches: Sure, we may not have oceans or towering mountains, but we know how to enjoy the lakes and ski slopes just fine.
  13. Pop and Friendliness: We love our soda and maintain a welcoming spirit. In Cincinnati, suggesting a three-way (the dish, of course) is all in good fun.
  14. Coastal Living, Midwestern Heart: Even if we venture to the coasts, there’s still a part of us that feels most at home in the heartland.

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Summary

This piece highlights the unique quirks and traditions of Midwestern kids, from the myths surrounding cow tipping to the importance of community festivals and the love for euchre. Whether it’s our weather banter or the open-door policy for kids, Midwestern values create a sense of belonging that endures, even when we wander away.

Keyphrase: Midwestern culture and traditions

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