Parenting
Updated: August 3, 2023
Originally Published: June 18, 2015
My eldest son is now sixteen and has a girlfriend. Honestly, how did we get here? It feels like just yesterday I was bringing home a tiny newborn from the hospital. Didn’t he just spend hours glued to his favorite cartoons? Wasn’t the biggest challenge back then figuring out which T-ball team to sign him up for?
But time flies, and now he’s stepping into the world of teenage romance. I remember when I was sixteen, navigating my first serious relationship. My mom took me to the doctor for birth control. Reflecting on that moment, I realize how tough it must have been for her. I think most parents instinctively want to preserve their children’s innocence. It’s hard to watch them grow, evolve, and make their own choices. We often deliver lectures and set rules, trying to maintain an illusion of control over their decisions.
As much as I wish to keep my son in that bubble of childhood, I know it’s unrealistic. He’s maturing and increasingly making decisions independently. My hope is that his father and I have instilled enough values in him for sound judgment.
Interestingly, two of my close friends brought up a crucial point during dinner one evening. Now that my son has a girlfriend, and given his age, it’s time to buy him condoms and have that conversation. Not the awkward sex talk but a straightforward discussion about birth control and safety. I was taken aback. Although I remember what my mom did for me, I wasn’t ready to tackle this with my own kids—especially with my son.
After some reflection, I recognized they were correct. I could ignore the reality that my son might be exploring his sexuality or convince myself that his relationship was purely innocent. But deep down, I feared the consequences of being in denial. The thought of him potentially facing the life-altering consequences of unprotected sex at such a young age was terrifying.
I had the conversation with my son—an earnest, albeit shaky, dialogue where I tried to mask my nerves while he stood there, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Even after our talk, I realized that if he did choose to become sexually active, he might not have the confidence or means to get condoms himself. And we all know how quickly things can escalate; one time is all it takes.
On my next trip to Target, I had condoms on my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk down that aisle. For weeks, I felt them taunting me each time I visited. Eventually, I steeled my nerves, and during one visit, I finally told myself, “This is the day.”
I approached the aisle, peeking to see if anyone else was around. When I found it empty, I wheeled my cart to the condoms and started to hyperventilate. Words leaped out at me in bright colors: “Pleasure Pack,” “Easy Glide,” “Ribbed for Her Pleasure.” Oh dear, I honestly didn’t want to envision my son having fun! Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I finally spotted the plain, no-frills condoms at the bottom of the display. How many should I get? Six? Twelve? I ultimately decided on the economy pack of 36—not because I wished for him to be sexually active, but rather because I never wanted to revisit this aisle again.
I tossed the box among my other purchases and headed to the checkout, heart racing and tears threatening to spill. This was undoubtedly a strange milestone in my parenting journey. Naturally, every open register was manned by someone in their twenties, perhaps fresh out of high school. I felt a pang of embarrassment over my purchase, but I couldn’t dwell on it for too long.
Once home, I carefully placed the box in my son’s bathroom cabinet and sent him a note:
“Hey there,
You’ll find a bag on a high shelf in your bathroom cabinet. Inside is a box of condoms. I know this might be a bit shocking—your mom buying condoms for you? Trust me, it was just as uncomfortable for me. However, as much as it may make us both squirm, you’re at an age where things might happen. Because I love you and care about your future, I want you to be protected.This isn’t a green light from Dad or me. We’ve discussed how significant the responsibilities of sex are, and it’s better suited for adults. I hope you’ll wait, but I understand you’ll make your own choices, just like I did at your age. My goal is to encourage you to make informed decisions with respect and safety in mind.
Here’s a helpful video on how to use a condom: YouTube link.
Love,
Mom”
Since then, we haven’t mentioned it again. He didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to. Every so often, I catch a glimpse of that Target bag on the shelf in his bathroom and know that I did the right thing.
For more parenting insights, check out this informative piece on home insemination kits and discover essential resources like Resolve.org for family planning.
Summary:
Navigating parenting challenges can be daunting, especially when addressing topics like sexual health. A mother reflects on her experience of buying condoms for her teenage son, acknowledging the importance of open discussions about safety and responsibility. By facing the discomfort head-on, she hopes to empower her son to make informed decisions while ensuring his well-being.
Keyphrase: condom purchase for son
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]