Wherever I turn, I seem to encounter parents: those with toddlers, those with teenagers, and even those with infants snugly held in carriers. This isn’t particularly alarming; it’s simply summer, and families are out enjoying the sunshine and discovering the wonders of our vibrant world. My family is doing the same thing.
However, I’ve become increasingly aware of a phenomenon that I like to call the Extra Loud Parenting Voice. Picture this: you’re minding your own business, and suddenly, you’re hit with a verbal barrage from a nearby parent who feels the need to narrate their entire interaction with their child as if they were on stage. It draws you in, forcing you to pause your own thoughts and focus on the loud display happening just a few feet away.
I’m not sure if this boisterousness is due to hearing loss from excessive exposure to wailing infants or an attempt to showcase their parenting prowess. Regardless, it ranks high on the annoyance scale, right alongside the businessman loudly discussing his latest financial triumph or the college student recounting her weekend escapades at deafening volume. Trust me, those around you are not impressed; rather, we’re collectively thinking, “Could you tone it down a bit?”
Examples of the Extra Loud Parenting Voice
- In the grocery store: “What color is the orange? Is the orange really orange? Should we buy oranges? Let’s count them. One, two, three, four… Oh, sweetie, please don’t yell. We need to use our inside voices since we’re inside the store. What color are the blueberries? Are they blue? Yes, that’s right! Blue! Should we grab some blueberries? Not those; please hand me the organic ones.”
- On public transport: “We need to stay in our seats. We can’t get up right now. Let’s color. Would you like some water? Here’s your coloring book and crayons. Would you like some water? No, we can’t play on mommy’s phone. Let’s color this truck. It’s a garbage truck! Oh, wait, is it a backhoe? Yes, it is! No looking for trucks on mommy’s phone! Want some water?”
- At the playground: “We only go down the slide. No climbing up! See how those kids are going up? That’s not how we do it. We only go down the slide.”
- At the zoo: “Can you see the giraffe? That’s the daddy giraffe. And look, there’s the baby! Yes, giraffe! Look at their long necks. They’re just like ostriches, but remember, ostriches are birds. Do you recall the book about giraffes we borrowed? That’s right! They eat leaves with their long necks. No, our dog, Max, is not a giraffe; he’s a dog! Yes, he says woof woof!”
- At the pool: “Please don’t run! You might slip and fall. There’s water everywhere from all the kids playing! If you run, you’ll slip and get hurt. Mommy doesn’t want that. Ice cream later? We have to eat lunch first, silly! We always eat before dessert. Let’s enjoy our lunch. Would you like your veggies with the hummus we made together? Hummus is so good for you!”
These are genuine conversations I’ve witnessed that have made my ears ring. While engaging with your children is completely normal, doing so at an ear-splitting volume is not. It makes everyone nearby wish for some peace and quiet.
I’m confident you’re a fantastic parent, but I’d rather select my produce, relax at the playground, or enjoy watching giraffes without the loud parenting showcase. Please, leave the Extra Loud Parenting Voice at home.
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Summary
This article humorously critiques the phenomenon of parents using excessively loud tones while interacting with their children in public spaces. While engaging with kids is important, the volume at which it’s done can be intrusive to those around. A gentle reminder to parents: tone it down for the sake of communal peace.
Keyphrase: Extra Loud Parenting Voice
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