As a parent of two lively daughters, I often reflect on my own upbringing. My husband, Matt, actively participates in our girls’ lives, bringing joy and laughter to our home. He’s the kind of dad who belts out tunes in their music classes, organizes visits to the local fire station, and surprises us with gourmet breakfasts on Sundays.
My father loved my sister and me dearly, but after my parents’ separation, he took a job overseas. Though we felt his love through letters and phone calls, my mother handled the everyday parenting. While I recognize the challenges of single motherhood, I feel incredibly fortunate for the lessons I learned from my experience. Here are three key reasons I believe growing up with a single mom made me stronger:
1. An Inspiring Female Role Model
My mom juggled undergraduate studies and law school while raising my sister and me. Watching her dedication to education and her determination to provide for us instilled values of hard work and perseverance. Moreover, our household operated without traditional gender roles; Mom managed the finances, took care of car repairs, and even mowed the lawn. If she opted out of certain activities, like camping, it was clear it was her choice—not a reflection of her gender.
2. Clear Boundaries with No Mixed Signals
Before Matt and I had children, we often discussed our childhoods. He recalls how his parents were always in sync, which I found quite remarkable. In contrast, my sister and I had the advantage of one authoritative figure—our mom. There were no games of playing one parent against the other. We learned to respect her decisions, which created a sense of security in understanding our limits. Mom raised us without any conflict or differing opinions, which fostered a strong sense of trust.
3. Expectations of True Partnership
Both my sister and I chose partners who embody a spirit of collaboration. Our husbands are skilled in various areas, from cooking to home repairs, and we didn’t randomly pick them; our upbringing shaped our expectations. We have honest discussions about gender roles, and while we face challenges, we strive for transparency in our relationships. I feel grateful to be parenting alongside a man I love, choosing this life together, rather than out of necessity. Thanks to my mother’s example, I understand that being a single parent doesn’t equate to unhappiness or incompleteness.
In conclusion, my experiences growing up with a resilient, independent single mom have equipped me with strength and clarity in my own parenting journey. The lessons learned from her life are some of the most valuable gifts I could ever receive as a mother.
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