Updated: Feb. 1, 2021
Originally Published: June 12, 2015
I just picked up my daughter from her latest birthday bash, and she bounded toward the car with an energy I haven’t seen in ages. The source of her excitement? The party’s host had gifted each little guest a stunning 14-karat gold initial necklace. Naturally, this gift far surpassed what we contributed for the birthday child—and even what I treated my daughter to for her own special day. As I drove away, gripping the steering wheel at 10 and 2, I couldn’t help but fantasize about a showdown with that over-the-top mom.
Honestly, I’ve never given much thought to birthday party favor bags. In fact, I find it quite frustrating that I’m expected to provide gifts for other children on my child’s birthday. For my son’s last celebration, I snagged eight candy bars from the Target checkout just 10 minutes before the guests arrived. I tossed them into a bowl and let the kids choose one as they left. I felt pretty clever for my last-minute ingenuity.
While I’m not a fan of trinkets from Oriental Trading Company mixed with leftover Halloween candy, some moms need to tone it down a notch. Here are a few of the more ludicrous examples I’ve encountered:
- Monogrammed golf balls and a real putter for a party at a putt-putt course.
- A gumball machine filled with—wait for it—gumballs (the irony was palpable since the kid’s dad was a dentist).
- Monogrammed sunglasses, a T-shirt, and a makeup-filled purse for a “Rock Star VIP party,” complete with a personalized red carpet and paparazzi.
- A fish in a plastic bag. Yes, I spent the rest of my Sunday scrambling to set up a proper home for a fish that deserved better.
- A Pottery Barn canvas tote filled with flip-flops, sunscreen, and a monogrammed towel for a beach-themed bash.
- A $32 oversized box of sand art, leading me to question my sanity and the sanity of the mom behind it.
Can we all agree that these extravagant favors are more about impressing other parents than spreading joy to kids? Let’s be real here—most of us aren’t exactly fond of other people’s children. It seems like some moms are desperate to keep up with the Joneses, who I imagine are lounging on a private island, sipping cocktails, and thinking about how to drive us all a little crazier.
Here’s a thought, ladies: If impressing others is your goal, how about sending the kids home with goodies for their moms? Picture this—a stylish purse filled with mini bottles of wine or a subscription to a Wine of the Month club. Maybe even some Advil and a pedicure gift card to compensate for hauling my child to your extravagant party. Until then, let’s slow down. I assure you, our kids will have just as much fun at your petting-zoo-themed party, where the giraffe was a huge hit, enjoying food-truck tacos, and savoring that three-tiered gluten-free birthday cake—without needing a gift to take home.
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Summary
In this lighthearted piece, the author reflects on the absurdity of extravagant birthday party favor bags, arguing that they often serve more to impress other parents than to delight children. She suggests that if we must give gifts, we should consider treating the moms instead. Ultimately, the joy of birthday parties can still shine through without the pressure of competing gift-giving.
Keyphrase: birthday party gift tradition
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