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- Birds, Bees, Peanuts, and Babies
By Emma Jamison
Updated: Aug. 14, 2023
Originally Published: June 11, 2015
When my eldest child, Max, was around the same age as this little girl, he began to ask questions. At that time, I was a single mother and he was my only child, who, for a fleeting moment, thought he wanted a sibling. I cleverly convinced him otherwise, explaining that a sibling meant sharing my attention. “You’ll have to share Mommy when you really want me all to yourself.” Given it was just the two of us, this approach appealed to his self-centered logic.
He agreed that perhaps a sibling wasn’t the best idea, but the questions didn’t stop. “But how did I get in your tummy?” and “What did my partner have to do with it?” Honestly, I wished his dad could have been there to share the awkwardness. But as time passed, I realized he deserved a straightforward answer. I wanted him to hear it from me first, not from a misinformed peer or a health class teacher.
After a couple of months of preparation, I finally bought an age-appropriate book, Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle, to help me find the right words—because I certainly didn’t have any. As a single mom, I wanted him to know he could discuss anything with me. We were a team, so I took a deep breath and got ready to tackle the conversation.
One evening, while watching TV, he confidently declared, “Mom, I think I know where babies come from.” My heart raced. “Do you? What do you think?” he grinned and said, “You eat a peanut, and it grows into a baby.” I was both puzzled and relieved. I considered letting that theory stand, chuckling as I said, “Nice guess, but no.” It was clear the moment had arrived, and I grabbed the book, pulling him close to read.
This book took a very child-friendly, no-nonsense approach. It clearly explained that babies come from a union between a husband and wife, and the characters were not depicted as supermodels, which I appreciated—no need to set unrealistic expectations. As we read, my embarrassment turned into pride. I had put aside my discomfort and faced the challenge head-on.
By the way, if he had asked whether this was how he was conceived, I would have jokingly replied, “No, because I’m a goddess, and only mortals have to do it this way.” My grasp on reality has its limits!
Once we finished reading, I asked if he had any questions, and he confidently replied no. I took that as a sign I had done a fantastic job! I hugged him and asked, “So now do you know where babies come from?” He beamed and said, “Yep! You eat a peanut and it grows into a baby!” Oh dear.
Fast forward three years, and I’m about to marry, while Max prepares to start middle school. He posed a much more direct question this time, “Mom, how do you get pregnant?” Here we go again. I asked if he remembered our previous book discussion. He didn’t seem to recall, but I sensed he did. Notably, he didn’t ask which book I meant, and he looked visibly uncomfortable, reminiscent of the day we sat in his room rereading that same book.
He listened intently, looking thoroughly disgusted by the information. Meanwhile, I felt triumphant; this was a walk in the park compared to my first attempt. After I closed the book, I asked if he had questions. Initially, he shook his head, but then he exclaimed, “You did that with my dad?!” Wow! No judgment here, kid. Let’s just celebrate surviving this.
Instead of saying that, I hugged him, explaining that his dad and I once loved each other, and that was what mattered. He accepted this without issue. The best part came a year later when he confided that he had overheard some boys in the locker room sharing what they thought they knew about sex and realized they were misinformed. He thanked me for being honest and preparing him. As a mom, it doesn’t get much better than that.
So here I am, ready to tackle this new little one. I hope she receives the news with the same grace as her brother, and I can keep my sanity intact. If not, I can always pass the baton to her dad.
For more insights on conception and pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination. And for those looking into home insemination, consider checking out this home insemination kit. They’re a great resource! Also, if you’re concerned about fertility, this fertility booster for men can provide valuable information.
In summary, navigating these conversations can be daunting, but with the right tools and a little humor, it can also be rewarding.
Keyphrase: “birds bees peanuts and babies”
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