Today was, by all measures, just another regular day. There are countless days like this—unremarkable, without any significant happenings. No grand achievements or monumental celebrations to speak of. Yet, have you ever considered that these ordinary, unremarkable days actually compose the majority of our lives? It’s not the high points or noteworthy milestones that define our existence; rather, it’s the simple, everyday moments that linger. The thrill of those standout experiences often fades quickly, sometimes even before we can pop a bottle of champagne in celebration.
John Lennon famously said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I believe that life is truly what unfolds during these unremarkable days. However, every advertisement, social media post, and perfectly edited photograph seems to glorify the extraordinary. It’s no wonder many of us feel like we’re lagging behind or that we’re somehow falling short.
We encourage our children to pursue their dreams, to reach for the stars, and to embrace their potential. Because they can. We reassure them that they are intelligent, kind, and brave—because they truly are. But in our efforts to inspire them to be daring and exceptional, are we neglecting to teach them the value of the ordinary? In our pursuit of Big Dreams, are we overlooking the importance of nurturing the quieter, yet equally significant aspirations?
The good news is that children naturally seem to find joy in the simple things. My youngest child, Leo, beams with pride when someone admires the snacks he has chosen, and he feels a sense of accomplishment when he can make his sibling smile. Kids inherently desire to give and receive love, to be kind, and to act with integrity.
Recently, my son, Oliver, confided in my partner about some difficulties he was facing with a peer at school. We discussed how sometimes kids feel down and just need a friend. We brainstormed ways he could support this boy and suggested that Oliver be especially kind to him the next day—just to see what might happen.
When I stood on the playground after school, I anticipated Oliver’s usual saunter, filled with playful antics with friends. Instead, he dashed over and exclaimed, “Guess what?! I was super nice to that boy, and he was nice to me too!” This was a moment of pure excitement for him. He had never rushed to share news with me before, not even after acing a test or scoring a goal. But this instance of bravery and kindness was extraordinary in his eyes.
While children may dream of becoming astronauts or famous actors, I believe deep down they yearn for affirmation that the quieter dreams—being a good friend, trying hard, loving deeply, and feeling loved—are just as vital.
As a child, I aspired to be a nurturing mother and create a loving family. Sure, I had a few grand aspirations, like traveling or owning horses, but my core dreams revolved around building strong familial bonds and friendships, fostering a warm home, and enjoying simple moments like coloring with my kids or baking cookies with my partner.
However, even as I find myself living out these quiet dreams, there are days I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I tell myself I should be doing more, achieving more, and often, I feel like I’m dropping the ball on various responsibilities—be it family, career, or friendships. It seems I’m not alone in this; many good parents and spouses with fulfilling lives still grapple with feelings of not being enough, as if they’ve failed because they haven’t reached the lofty heights of their dreams.
This prompts me to reflect: How can we inspire our children to pursue their grand ambitions while also instilling an appreciation for the quieter aspirations? How can we teach them to aim for greatness while also recognizing the richness of the everyday moments?
The answer begins with us. We must learn to respect our own lofty dreams while confidently embracing our quieter aspirations. We should celebrate our own efforts to be kind, loving, and brave, regardless of the outcome. This means showing ourselves compassion, prioritizing our relationships, and recognizing all the ways we are doing well as parents, partners, and friends. It’s about treating each day as special, and acknowledging that we are inherently special and enough.
There’s a poignant poem by William Martin that advises against urging our children to chase extraordinary lives. Instead, it encourages us to “make the ordinary come alive for them” because the extraordinary will naturally take care of itself. This philosophy resonates deeply with me. I find that when I pursue actions motivated by kindness and courage, the outcomes often become remarkable.
As parents, we undoubtedly have high hopes for our children. While I want them to aspire to great things, I also want them to find contentment in the everyday. I hope they learn to cultivate meaningful friendships, love unconditionally, and appreciate the value of stillness and connection. I want them to recognize the beauty in handwritten notes, long hugs, and shared silences.
Above all, when they lay down to sleep at night, I want their final thought to be: Today was special. I loved and was loved today. I truly lived. Today was extraordinary.