Having my first child at 38 and my second at 40 has been an incredible journey, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. However, there are certain challenges that come with being an “older” expectant mother, and while they can be frustrating, it’s reassuring to know that more women in their early forties are embracing motherhood. Here are eight things to keep in mind as you navigate your pregnancy:
- Get Used to ‘Advanced Maternal Age’: Prepare to hear this phrase on repeat. You might as well have it printed on a coffee mug. While some medical professionals consider this term outdated, it’s still common. Remember, plenty of women over 35 enjoy healthy pregnancies. Yes, there are heightened risks, but worrying endlessly won’t help. If it’s a concern, opt for genetic testing to ease your mind. The key is to have a supportive doctor who makes you feel comfortable. If not, it’s time to find someone else.
- Embrace Being the Oldest Mom in Class: Accept that you may be the most seasoned parent in your birthing classes. There will always be younger parents around, but that’s perfectly okay. Each experience brings its own wisdom.
- Your Body May Take Longer to Recover: Understand that bouncing back after childbirth might be more challenging at 40. Be kind to yourself and recognize that shedding those extra pounds may require more time and patience.
- Face the Age Factor Head-On: Yes, you’ll be 60 when your child heads to college, and 70 when they turn 30. Accepting this truth can help you find peace. Let it go, and focus on the joy of being a parent.
- You’ll Be a Go-To for Younger Moms: Younger mothers often seek advice from older women, assuming you have a wealth of experience. You might find it amusing to dispense some lighthearted, whimsical advice.
- The Amniocentesis Dilemma: Your OB/GYN will mention amnio testing early in your pregnancy. I recommend considering it seriously. While there are non-invasive tests, they don’t cover as many genetic disorders as an amnio. If you’re a worrier like I am, going for the conclusive test may provide you with peace of mind. I opted out of amnio during my pregnancy and later regretted it after going through a series of tests that led me back to the option I initially avoided.
- Get Ready for Over-enthusiastic Reactions: When people find out you’re pregnant at 40, expect a flood of exaggerated compliments and congratulations. Over time, you’ll get used to the enthusiasm, and it might even make you chuckle.
- Anticipate Grandparenting Pressure: The realization that your child might wait until their 40s to have kids can be daunting. You may find yourself worrying about being an elderly grandparent, but remember, you can only control your own timeline.
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In summary, while becoming a mother at 40 can bring its unique set of challenges, it offers immense joy and satisfaction. Embrace the experience with an open heart, and don’t forget to lean on your support network!