There’s a popular belief that some moms and their children eagerly anticipate the arrival of summer, dreaming of lazy days filled with sleeping in, sipping lemonade, and chasing fireflies in the backyard. For me, an autism mom, that notion feels more like a fairy tale.
In our household, summer doesn’t bring a drastic change in routine—just a few meticulously planned adjustments. After all, I have to negotiate these changes with my “boss,” and let me tell you, the discussions can rival a labor union’s bargaining session. And walking out isn’t an option!
While most families look forward to sleeping in, my little one is still awake at the crack of dawn, not only because that’s his routine year-round but also because we continue to have school. Yes, you heard me right! That year-round schooling concept that gets tossed around jokingly among other moms in early August? We’re living it. But let’s be clear: this isn’t a perk. My son attends school during the summer to prevent regression, not for a free vacation camp experience. (Call it that in my presence, and we might have to throw down!) He genuinely needs that structure, and it starts earlier than usual. My coffee maker has become my best friend, or rather, my master.
Spontaneous days off? Not in this house! In addition to school, we still have therapy appointments to juggle. The thrill of rescheduling appointments because therapists want to take vacations is just another layer of summer fun. Two years ago, when my son’s music therapist took a week off for the birth of his child, my initial reaction was, “Hey, you didn’t give birth—what’s the deal?” Yep, I can be a bit of a grouch.
Somewhere during the winter months, my husband and I suffer from what I call “Vacation Amnesia.” In a moment of enthusiasm, we book a week-long family getaway, only for the reality to hit me when I start drafting my packing list—one that seems to grow longer each year. Nothing says love like whisper-yelling through gritted teeth, “Please keep it down! Other guests are trying to sleep!” If you think your child is quiet, take them on vacation; the front desk will soon enlighten you with a noise complaint. (Pro tip: Leave a generous tip for housekeeping; you’ll need it!)
Here, there are no long, leisurely summer days. We rise at the same time, and I’m often not far behind my son when bedtime rolls around. Maintaining a schedule is crucial for helping him manage his day. Sure, we enjoy a brief gap between the end of the school year and the start of the Extended School Year (ESY)—a.k.a. summer school—but it’s a delicate balance to keep him occupied. Unstructured time can lead to anxiety, and autism doesn’t take a summer break. I strive to make it enjoyable for him, but adjustments are necessary.
Barbecues? I’m packing up his meals or feeding him beforehand. Fireworks? Where are those noise-canceling headphones? Without them, my boy would probably attempt to climb back into my womb from sheer terror. Pool parties? You haven’t witnessed helicopter parenting until you’ve seen an autism mom in action. His fascination with water, coupled with his “no fear” attitude, can be quite alarming.
It may not align with your vision of the perfect summer, but it’s our reality. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to draft a social story about the importance of sunscreen for a kid with sensory sensitivities.
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Summary:
Summer in an autism household is anything but relaxing, filled with early mornings, ongoing school and therapy, and meticulous planning to keep the routine intact. While typical families may enjoy leisurely days, autism parents navigate a structured environment where every moment counts.
Keyphrase: Autism summer routine
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