“Good morning! Everything is terrible, especially you. Seriously, you’re the worst.”
“It’s already 8 AM—where’s my cheeseburger?!”
“Your wardrobe? Ugh. You resemble a hobo. Why even bother with a bra?”
“Hey, how about you cut your own bangs? Yeah, like that—just a few more snips and you’ll be sobbing. Perfect!”
“Feeling feisty? I can easily get your mother on the line for a little drama.”
“Your family is so grating. They’re only obnoxious when I’m around. That sound of your partner chewing? It’s making my ears bleed! And those kids can’t even dress themselves.”
“Now’s a great time to shout about how underappreciated you are. Do these people really think their closets magically refill with fresh clothes or that the fridge stocks itself with organic veggies from three stores?”
“Why can’t I just smash something? You’d feel way better if you broke some dishes instead of washing them, or even threw rocks at passing cars from the porch. At least let me slam a couple of doors.”
“Your house is a disaster zone. If you don’t scrub the burnt food off the stove and wipe down the door frames in the next twenty minutes, I might just set the place ablaze.”
“Let’s run away! Actually, I’ll get everyone else to leave. It’s raining, though, and they look cozy. I doubt a regular tantrum will budge them today. I’ll just have to work up a full-blown meltdown. If you could just choke-sob and hyperventilate into a pile on the floor, that’d help.”
“Forget showering today. It won’t do anything to reduce the self-loathing we’re experiencing.”
“Seriously, what’s your problem? Do you even have real issues, you shallow, spoiled little fool? Every time I see you, you’re a pathetic mess. Get it together.”
“I’m insulting? Just think about all those poor souls who have to look at your face.”
“What’s your life’s purpose, anyway?”
“I thought you were a writer. Why aren’t you crafting something? You’re just sitting there in front of the computer like a dope. Oh look, you had an idea. Nope, that’s rubbish. Hit delete. You should just give up.”
“Oh, it’s my fault you’re like this? Please, this is just who you are now. It’s not getting better. The walls of your mind are closing in, and the folks in white coats are on their way.”
“Wait! Where do you think you’re off to? Why are your running shoes on? What’s this ‘acupuncture’ appointment I see on your calendar? Is that a meditation cushion? Do I smell bath salts? Nope, I’m outta here!”
This humorous take on the chaotic thoughts that swirl around during PMS resonates with many. For more about navigating motherhood and fertility, check out this insightful resource on IVF at Healthline. Also, if you’re looking into home insemination options, consider checking out the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit and fertility boosters for men at Make a Mom.
In summary, PMS can lead to a whirlwind of unfiltered thoughts, self-doubt, and chaotic emotions. But it’s vital to remember that these feelings are temporary, and there are resources available to help navigate the journey of motherhood and fertility.
Keyphrase: PMS thoughts
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]