When I gaze at my husband, I see two distinct realities: one filled with his presence, and another devoid of him. In the first, I feel serene and fulfilled; in the second, I’m adrift and altered.
Watching him lovingly tuck our daughters into bed at night, I can’t help but reflect on how close we came to not having them at all. This thought often takes my breath away. How could I possibly navigate life without any of them?
Fourteen years ago, we faced a terrifying reality when my husband was diagnosed with a rare and typically deadly cancer just 18 months after our wedding. Our dreams of building a family and growing old together felt as distant as his chances of survival.
Now, I often find him in his “man cave,” the detached garage, where he tirelessly does pull-ups and lifts weights. He’s relentless in his pursuit of health, and I am filled with gratitude—not just for our luck but for the sheer randomness of it all. Given that he had less than a 10 percent chance of surviving five years post-diagnosis, we both understand that many others diagnosed with adrenal carcinoma in 2001 weren’t as fortunate. I can’t help but think that few of them are out there running early morning miles or kissing their children—who might never have existed—goodnight.
Recently, I came across a heart-wrenching Facebook post by influencer Mia Thompson, who mourned the loss of her husband, Jack, who tragically passed away while exercising. Her words resonated deeply with me, and my heart ached for her and her children. I wished for a different outcome for them as well.
Mia expressed, “When tragedy strikes, it offers us a choice. You can succumb to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart and constricts your breath. Or you can strive to find meaning. Over the past thirty days, I’ve spent countless moments lost to that void. I know many more moments will be consumed by that emptiness too. But when I can, I want to choose life and significance.”
During my husband’s darkest days, I sometimes felt ensnared in that void. When doctors compared his treatment to merely rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, I felt I was sinking alongside him. Nights spent on uncomfortable hospital chairs made me ponder the unimaginable reality of his death. How could I endure life in such a state of despair?
Fortunately, we never had to confront that fate. Against all odds, my husband defied expectations, and I am grateful to whatever cosmic force may have played a role in this miracle. I embrace him and our children, who might not have been here, with a fierce passion—so much so that they sometimes roll their eyes and push me away, saying, “Enough, Mom!” But deep down, I believe they cherish it. They don’t realize it will never be enough for me or their dad. Our hugs are endless because we understand the true miracles we have in our lives.
On quiet evenings, my husband and I sit on our front porch swing, swaying in silence. We don’t need to verbalize our gratitude for narrowly avoiding tragedy; it’s understood. We are actively choosing life and meaning, fully aware that our situation allows us to do so more easily after escaping such a dire fate. We lean into our life together, and that leaning will persist long after his cancer becomes a distant memory.
If you cherish your partner, your children, your life, embrace it all—and express it. Seek out those who inspire you, and tell them how much they mean to you. Don’t wait; go and say it now.
For those interested in home insemination, check out this informative post, where you can learn more about the options available. Also, this resource offers guidance for those considering pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, life can change in an instant, and it’s essential to recognize the beauty and fragility of our connections. Cherish each moment and express your love often.
Keyphrase: life perspective on love
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]