As parents, it’s our responsibility to nurture our children’s passions. We strive to make their interests accessible and provide every chance for them to dive into their hobbies. We’re expected to be supportive, enthusiastic, and as engaged as they are. But sometimes, those interests revolve around Minecraft.
If only I could choose what my kids were into! Alas, they have external influences like “school,” “friends,” and “the Internet” that lead them toward things I might not be too excited about. Some of these interests are easy to dismiss—like when they come home asking if they can go to a friend’s house to play a game rated ‘M’ for mature audiences. I can’t help but wonder, “What exactly is a hooker?”
During their toddler years, I braved countless hours of Caillou and Dora. The high-pitched sounds of Elmo haunted me, and I found myself singing “The Wheels on the Bus” on repeat. I imagined a day when their tastes would mature, and we might find some common ground—enjoyable activities we could share.
Little did I know that while they were busy creating macaroni masterpieces, a guy named Markus “Notch” Persson was busy crafting the game that would lead me to roll my eyes so hard I might have pulled a muscle: Minecraft.
I’ll admit it—there’s no real reason to ban it. It’s a better alternative to many mindless video games, devoid of anything illegal. It encourages strategic thinking and creativity. If only my kids would play it quietly, we’d all be a lot happier.
However, the very kids who give me one-word answers about their school day will talk about Minecraft with such fervor that I wonder if they might hyperventilate from sheer excitement. They follow me everywhere, even to the mailbox, asking me to explain their obsession with this pixelated universe.
In my defense, I’ve not only pretended to be interested, but I’ve genuinely tried to engage. I even ventured into the game myself, which only made me realize how much Creepers resemble blocky green appendages—an image I can’t seem to erase from my mind. I’ve spent countless hours trying to stay engaged, but it’s just so overwhelming.
The problem isn’t just their endless chatter about Minecraft; it’s also the bewildering jargon that sounds like a foreign language to me. Griefing, spawning, endermen, redstone, mobs, mods—it’s as if I’m a tourist in a land where I can only muster up the basics like “restroom” and “drink.”
When they’re not glued to their game, they’re watching YouTube videos of others playing Minecraft—often channels like Stampy Longnose and The Diamond Minecart, whose British accents make the experience slightly less dull. They clamor for Minecraft merchandise: shirts, books, action figures, and even Minecraft-themed weaponry. I once forked over $35 for a tiny Minecraft Lego set—truly a sacrifice.
It seems I’m not alone in this struggle; “Notch” was able to snag a $70 million mansion, complete with a candy room. I’m convinced one of those rooms should belong to me. Hint, hint, Notch—I could use a little sweetness in my life.
Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate my children’s enthusiasm and their drive to learn and excel in the game. But too much of anything, even cupcakes, can lead to a stomachache.
Perhaps we should just move in with Notch. That way, my kids can pester someone who understands their passion, while I seek some much-needed solitude. After all, he has 15 bathrooms.
If you’re curious about the journey to parenthood, you might find our post on at-home insemination kits helpful. For those considering fertility options, this resource detailing the IVF process is excellent.