It was moving day in the vibrant university town where I reside. Parents from every corner of the country flocked to the city to retrieve their children and take them home for the summer break. Cube vans clogged the streets, while local eateries buzzed with parents treating their kids to a nice meal.
I strolled into a downtown bakery to grab some cookies—not for myself, of course. In an effort to reassure the cashier of my intentions, I proudly declared, “I’m such a great mom for buying cookies for my kids.”
She beamed back at me. “How lovely! Are you moving your child off campus?”
I blinked in disbelief. Wait—did she really think I was old enough to have college-aged children? Short of vowing never to return to that bakery, I rushed to my car and scrutinized my reflection in the rearview mirror. My hair looked decent, I had on acceptable clothes, and I’d put on moisturizer that morning. I couldn’t possibly look that old, could I? Oh no, was that a new wrinkle?
Until quite recently, I worked at the university. Wandering through campus, I felt little different from the students around me. It hadn’t been long since I was one of those co-eds, blending in seamlessly. I often told my husband, “I’m trendy. I’m in touch. I could totally pass for a student.” (Don’t worry, I realize the irony in claiming to be trendy while saying so.)
My husband was quick to counter. “You’re fooling yourself,” he retorted.
Living in a college town presents a slew of contradictions. On one hand, being surrounded by youthful energy allows you to sip occasionally from their fountain of youth. College students are the epitome of what’s cool, making it easy to stay updated on the latest music, fashion, and smartphone apps. You feel like you’re at the forefront of everything. On the flip side, every fall brings a new wave of fresh faces—faces that seem to grow younger by the year. I swear half of them still sport braces.
While the students appear to age backward, I remain unchanged. On some logical level, I know this isn’t accurate—I possess a degree, after all. Yet the closeness fosters a comforting illusion that I’m still part of that world. I know what’s hip, I look the part, and I feel aligned with the current trends. That is, until a cashier asks if I’m their mom.
The first of our friends’ children is heading off to college next fall. How did our friends’ kids get so old? It’s true they started families before many of us were even in serious relationships. Still, it hardly seems real. Didn’t we just finish our own degrees?
My kids are still quite young, yet we are at a point where they’re closer to college than we are to our own graduations. We are old enough to have friends who are now professors. The same friends who once skipped classes or shared drinks at campus pubs are now the ones delivering lectures and crafting syllabi.
This realization creates a significant cognitive dissonance (a term I picked up in school). Managing the gap between how old I am and how old I feel isn’t a lesson taught in any classroom. Ironically, the only way to grasp this concept is through time—and the occasional harsh revelation under fluorescent lights.
I’ve often contemplated returning to school. In what could be seen as the ultimate form of helicopter parenting disguised as self-improvement, I dream about enrolling in college alongside my kids. Perhaps we could share classes, walk through campus together, and even grab lunch now and then. I’m sure they’d think that’s the coolest thing ever. After all, I’m trendy and in touch, right? Or at least I bring cookies.
This article originally appeared on May 25, 2015.
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Summary
Living in a college town provides unique experiences and challenges, particularly as one grapples with the realities of aging while surrounded by younger students. This article reflects on the paradox of feeling youthful in a community filled with college-aged individuals, the cognitive dissonance that arises as friends’ children head off to school, and the desire to reconnect with that youthful spirit, perhaps by returning to college oneself.
Keyphrase: The Challenges of Residing in a College Town
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