It’s hard to believe, but here I am. Shorts season has always been a tricky time for me. However, after so much effort in embracing and loving myself, why not take the plunge this year?
Throughout the day, I found myself acutely aware of my body in ways that usually go unnoticed. I felt the unfamiliar curve at my waist—an extra layer of skin that appeared after I became a mom. I noticed how my thighs brushed against each other, a familiar sensation since middle school. Each time I passed a reflective surface, I couldn’t help but notice how my upper arms looked. By day’s end, I was in a foul mood, grappling with feelings of self-doubt and disappointment. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and hide.
Spring: The Season of Diets
My struggles began around the age of 12 when shorts season arrived, and I found myself uncomfortable in my own skin. I was wearing adult sizes but felt anything but grown up. Thus began my first diet, a cycle that lasted nearly two decades.
Perpetual Discontent with My Body
Throughout the years, I fluctuated between being heavier and lighter, but even at my lowest weight, I never felt satisfied. No matter the size, I always focused on flaws that needed fixing.
What Am I Really Feeling?
So, when I slipped into those shorts and felt “fat,” what was I truly experiencing? The emotions ran deeper: feelings of inadequacy, judgment, discomfort, and shame.
A Journey of Sadness
After wallowing in negativity for two days, I felt anger bubbling beneath the surface. That anger often masks a deeper sorrow. The 12-year-old me was perfectly fine just as she was. A size 10 in sixth grade, while others wore juniors sizes, she was simply a child.
It pains me to think about how many moments I wasted fixating on calories and running endlessly, instead of enjoying the sunshine. I restricted my food intake, despised my body, and lived in constant comparison, always feeling inferior.
Finding Acceptance During Pregnancy
Surprisingly, during my pregnancy, I finally appreciated my body. Watching it transform to nurture my child was awe-inspiring. For the first time, my body felt like a source of pride. Even breastfeeding brought challenges, but as long as I focused on nurturing my baby, I could handle it.
But now? My little one is 32 months old. Am I still allowed to appreciate my body when it’s not engaged in something as miraculous as pregnancy? Society often struggles to embrace bodies like mine, despite some progress. For example, locating plus-size shorts without uncomfortable tummy control features feels nearly impossible.
Enough is Enough
I refuse to waste more time. From that moment at 12 when I deemed my body unworthy to last night’s fixation on my thighs, I’ve spent too long consumed by negativity about my appearance. No more.
Today, I will wear shorts and embrace my beauty. I’m joining the empowering movement of #takebackpostpartum, making a commitment to love my body as it is. Today, I will wear shorts during my walk to the park with my son, celebrating my strong legs while being present in the moment, rather than fixating on self-criticism.
Who’s with me? Let’s all wear shorts together!
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Summary:
This article reflects on personal struggles with body image, particularly during shorts season. It emphasizes the journey of self-acceptance, acknowledging the societal pressures surrounding body standards and celebrating the decision to embrace one’s body as it is. The author encourages readers to join in the movement of self-love and acceptance.
Keyphrase: Embracing Body Positivity
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