I’ve recently learned that I fall under the category known as “advanced maternal age.” For those unfamiliar with the term, it means I took my sweet time to settle down. I met my partner when I was 30, tied the knot at 31, and welcomed my first child just before I hit 36. While my mom was 41 when she had me, I never thought much of it. However, once my kids started school, I quickly realized I was a solid decade older than many of the other moms around me. Now, some of them are dear friends, and I usually don’t dwell on that age gap. Still, there are moments that serve as a stark reminder of my “seniority.” Here are a few:
- I’ve reached the point where I could very well be the mother of my child’s teacher.
- Some of my kids’ friends have grandparents who are younger than my own parents.
- When a friend discusses her 10-year plan, I take a moment to realize she’s not talking about retirement.
- I find myself needing to explain to my kids that having another baby is off the table, without getting into the nitty-gritty.
- I occasionally shock other parents with my old-school phrases like “Because I said so,” “Your face will freeze like that,” and “If you keep eating those chips, you’re going to get fat.”
- I have to restrain myself from imparting my “wisdom” to younger parents, especially when their kids are older than mine.
- Hearing another mom refer to me as “ma’am” makes me cringe. I appreciate the politeness, but please don’t call someone with kids your child’s age that!
- Whenever people comment on how close in age my kids are, I remember that starting late means you need to work fast. I managed to have three kids in under three years, with the second and third just 11 months apart!
- I often ponder why my friend’s hair appointment cost less than mine, only to realize she’s just getting cute highlights, while I’m covering up the grays first.
- My husband and I exchange fond chuckles about “those kids,” referring to other parents!
- I consider discussing periods with my 9-year-old daughter, worrying that by the time she needs to know, I might forget what it was like.
Despite being labeled as an older mom, I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. I know I wouldn’t have been as competent in my twenties or even early thirties. However, a little extra age on the other parents wouldn’t hurt. Can you all please just turn 40 before I hit 50?
This article was originally published on May 23, 2015.
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In summary, being an older mom comes with its own set of humorous and enlightening experiences. From generational gaps to the realization of how time flies, the journey of motherhood is unique and rewarding, regardless of when it begins.
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