Parenting advice and my personality don’t quite mesh. I often dwell on the dire outcomes awaiting my kids if I neglect the recommendations, yet somehow, I manage to forget (or conveniently overlook) the strategies meant to avert those disasters. Result? Kids = Chaos; Mom = Overwhelmed. Not a great mix. So, when my eldest was about two, I vowed to cut down on parenting books.
I’ve only broken that promise a few times. One notable occasion was to discover tactics to preempt sibling rivalry. The idea was simple: guide my children to feel secure in themselves, thus eliminating the need to compete for our attention.
Surprisingly, I think it worked.
My kids don’t seem to engage in the typical sibling power struggle for my or my partner’s affection. While that’s beneficial for their self-esteem, I can’t help but wonder if it would be so bad if my son decided to tidy up his craft mess to claim the title of “the organized one” or if my daughter willingly munched on her veggies to establish herself as “the healthy eater.”
Unfortunately, the absence of traditional rivalry hasn’t meant peace. Instead, it has merely evolved into quirky, yet annoying, contests like these:
- I Had It First! The definitions of “had” and “first” are incredibly flexible. “Had” could mean simply glancing at an item from across the room or contemplating it at some past moment. As for “first,” it could involve having touched it three months ago. The only time this phrase matters is when one child is physically clutching the item, regardless of whether they’re actually using it.
- Don’t Go on My Side! Every time we enter or exit the car, a ridiculous debate erupts over which door each child will use. It’s not like one door is a magical portal while the other is a trapdoor to a pit of despair, but you’d think so.
- I’m Gonna Win! This is closely related to the previous point. My kids will sprint through parking lots, backyards, or any obstacle in their path just to be the first to reach the car (or their rooms, or the bathroom). The prize? Certainly not a mother’s praise for their reckless speed.
- It’s Not a Race! Ah, the classic phrase uttered by the sibling who’s clearly about to lose.
- That’s Mine! The reality is, we can’t have two of everything. Or can we? Seriously, is that even possible? Because I’m done with the endless debates over who gets the coveted orange plate.
To clarify, I’m not suggesting my kids should fight for my love; they already have it without any competition. However, if they feel the need to channel their competitive spirit, maybe they could compete over who can whip up the best breakfast in bed for me? Just a thought. Perhaps I should mention to my son that his sister might beat him to it!
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In summary, while sibling rivalry might be a natural part of growing up, the expressions of competition can take many forms. Understanding these dynamics can lead to a more harmonious family life—even if the battles are oddly humorous.
Keyphrase: sibling rivalry
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