I recently came across a story about two mothers frustrated with the limited choices in girls’ clothing, who decided to launch a clothing line featuring designs like rockets, trains, and dinosaurs—prints usually found only in the boys’ section. This revelation sparked a thought-provoking question in my mind.
While I wholeheartedly support the idea of girls wearing “boy” designs, it raises an important counterpoint: What about boys who want to wear typical “girl designs”? What about the boys who wish to dress as Elsa for Halloween instead of Olaf?
What about the boys?
As a woman, I believe in advocating for women’s rights and gender equality—and I genuinely do. I want the same opportunities as men, to be assessed based on my merits and not my gender. I want this for my three daughters as well.
So, I’m not critiquing the growing acknowledgment of girls who aspire to be superheroes, astronauts, or scientists. I applaud the movement towards gender equality and the efforts to support girls’ ambitions. Women can do everything men can do, and girls can enjoy the same interests as boys.
But when it comes to boys, the narrative shifts.
If one of my daughters opts for pants over dresses, sports over dance, or chooses any activity that isn’t traditionally “girly,” nobody bats an eye. If she excels in athletics, her talents will be celebrated. If she’s intellectually gifted, she’ll be encouraged to pursue her interests. If she simply enjoys playing outside and getting muddy, I can assure you that my social media posts showcasing her muddy adventures will garner countless likes and positive comments. Not one of those comments will suggest, “Shouldn’t you encourage her to engage in more feminine activities?” or “If she plays sports, she might become a lesbian.”
And here’s where my frustration grows. The protective mother in me surfaces when I think of my adorable 5-year-old son, who wanted to dress as Elsa for Halloween. We had to create his costume because no store offers a “Boy Elsa” costume. Even in preschool, I dreaded the possible reactions from his peers if he wore a dress.
He also loves My Little Pony, but finding a My Little Pony t-shirt for him has been impossible. I can easily purchase various superhero shirts for my daughters, even in the boys’ department, where styles tend to be neutral enough to avoid ridicule. But girls’ shirts? They’re often adorned with ruffles, in pastel pinks, whites, and purples, or decorated with bows.
As a mother, I constantly grapple with this dilemma. Buying my son a shirt with a design that he loves would make him happy, but what happens if he wears it to school and faces taunts from a few mean kids? He’s sensitive, and I worry that a few harsh words could crush the spirit that makes him unique. My husband and I tread carefully between encouraging his authentic self and shielding him from potential bullying. I know too well how damaging cruel comments can be, and I want to protect my son from that pain.
Addressing Gender Inequality
So why isn’t there more conversation around this aspect of gender inequality? Why are we so focused on empowering girls to be themselves, while neglecting the boys?
And why do well-meaning family members and friends feel compelled to say things like:
- “Shouldn’t you encourage him to explore different interests? Maybe steer him towards something more masculine?”
– Oh, you mean tell my son to stop liking what he enjoys and push him towards cars or trucks instead? No thanks. - “Your son is probably going to be gay.”
– Really? You can predict that? And wait, am I supposed to be concerned if my son is gay? I care about his happiness. - “You’re going to make him gay.”
– That’s not even a thing!
So let’s address this issue. Let’s dismantle the stereotype that boys are confined to specific interests while girls have the freedom to enjoy anything. We need to advocate for acceptance for all children, regardless of gender. This mama has had enough.
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In summary, while we celebrate the progress made for girls in breaking free from traditional stereotypes, we must also ensure that boys are equally supported in their interests and choices. Encouraging acceptance and freedom of expression for all children, regardless of gender, is essential in creating a truly equitable society.