When we introduced our son to his first smartphone, we had a candid discussion about its responsible use. We emphasized the importance of not answering calls from unfamiliar numbers and made it clear that the device was primarily for his safety, not just for texting friends. To ensure a layer of oversight, I linked his email account to my iPad. While I don’t delve into his conversations with friends, I do keep the inbox tidy by unsubscribing him from spam and unwanted lists. However, I firmly draw the line at invasive monitoring, despite having the ability to do so.
In stark contrast, the South Korean government has no qualms about surveillance. They developed an app named Smart Sheriff, designed to restrict minors’ access to inappropriate content while enabling parents to track their children’s phone usage and activities. Other similar apps provide real-time location data or send alerts when certain sensitive terms are searched, such as “suicide” or “bullying.”
What’s particularly alarming is that the South Korean government mandates the installation of such monitoring apps on phones belonging to anyone under 18. While there is no official way to opt-out, tech-savvy teens might find loopholes, such as using older devices passed down from parents.
Setting aside the issue of compulsory app installation—a concept that would likely not be tolerated in the U.S.—we must grapple with the broader question of how much oversight is appropriate for our children. Shouldn’t they have some privacy? Monitoring them closely feels akin to reading their diaries, doesn’t it? The distinction lies in the fact that the internet can expose them to a myriad of dangers, as highlighted in a memorable episode of Law & Order: SVU where a father, Elliot Stabler, expressed concern not about his daughter’s online activities, but rather the potential threats posed by others online. I share his apprehensions, yet I also believe that fostering independence and teaching kids to identify dangers is more beneficial than smothering them with surveillance.
When I worry that my son is spending too much time on screens, we set limits on his usage until he completes his homework, or simply tell him to take a break. I try to be mindful not to be glued to my own devices while doing so, as I often find myself spending more leisure time on my tablet than anyone else in the house.
Perhaps my kids should consider installing a monitoring app on my phone to remind me to stop checking emails and play games, and instead, spend quality time with them. Or they could simply ask me directly—no software needed.
Summary:
This article discusses the complex issue of monitoring children’s online activities, contrasting personal parenting choices with government-mandated surveillance in South Korea. While some parents may feel justified in tracking their kids for safety, the importance of granting them privacy and teaching them to navigate risks independently is emphasized. Ultimately, fostering open communication may yield better results than invasive monitoring.
Keyphrase: monitoring children online
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