Ah, you! Yes, you, staring bewildered at the packing list from Camp Tumbleweed. That list that seems to demand an extravagant shopping spree at Target, leaving you contemplating the very last drops of your weekly wine box. What if you could skip the complicated math of laundry—where X is your kid, Y is fresh clothes, and X over Y results in a mix of other kids’ socks? What if, instead of the chaos of preparing your child for camp, you got to experience camp yourself? (It’s a thing now!) So, what should you pack for an adult camp adventure?
Clothing
Feel free to bring your favorite bikinis or loose caftans, depending on your style. Just remember to cover up any areas you want to keep safe from pesky bugs. Trust us; you’ll be grateful later. Whatever you wear, keep it clean. If you opt for the au naturel look, hygiene is key—let’s avoid any unnecessary health department visits due to unfortunate choices.
After the infamous Tory Burch incident of 2012, we kindly request that you limit logos. And if you’re not a fan of socks, that’s fine, but be warned: at adult camp, no one wants to hear about your blisters.
Footwear
We know you brought the trendiest flip-flops to flaunt your pedicure, but one stubbed toe later, and you’ll be rummaging through the mismatched Crocs pile with the rest of us. Remember, flip-flops and other “eco-parent” footwear make excellent shower shoes—athlete’s foot is a real concern!
Toiletries
While cleanliness is essential, hair products are a no-go at adult camp. Embrace your natural look—curly, straight, gray, or thinning. Management has banned most scented soaps, gels, and douches. If you need a list of acceptable scents, just ask at the office. And be ready to surrender any vintage fragrances like Love’s Baby Soft or Drakkar Noir.
We can’t accommodate electric toothbrushes or Clarisonic refills, but if you have a note from your doctor, vibrators are welcome to recharge at the clinic.
Bedding
Your luxurious sheets might be beautiful, but be prepared for them to suffer in our camp washing machines. Our platform tents ensure you won’t be sleeping on the ground, but a tarp is a smart addition—it can serve as a rain poncho, a mattress protector, or even emergency shelter. Don’t forget to shake out those anti-dust-mite pillows daily—spiders are sneaky!
Outdoors
The camp staff is not liable for your high-end sunscreen, so store it securely. Your plant identification guide can elevate your camp salad from mediocre to gourmet, just steer clear of the mushrooms. And while we don’t offer kale, we do keep chia seeds on hand for those who want to whip up pudding.
Entertainment
Leave your Apple Watch at home—there’s no Wi-Fi or internet here, anyway. All versions of Cards Against Humanity must be inspected by your counselor for any rogue Trivial Pursuit cards. Premixed cocktails are allowed (some are quite tasty!), but you need to provide your own fresh fruits.
Sundries
You can bring devices, but all Wi-Fi and cell service cut off at the river’s edge. This means no Kindles unless they’re fully charged and stocked with battery backups, no digital crossword puzzles unless they’re preloaded, and no streaming games. If this leads to a medical emergency, the nurse is on standby.
Funds for the camp shop will be deposited into your account and are non-transferable. Oh, and last year’s mystery of the creepy photos in the counselors’ hut means no cameras allowed! Instead, we offer a new arts-and-crafts class focused on courtroom sketching for your memory-making needs.
Please Don’t Bring
Leave weapons of any kind at home—including Krazy Glue (Andrea is healing well, thank you). Pets are also a no-go unless they are certified assistance animals. Also, please refrain from adopting any small creatures from our grounds. And medications without prescriptions? We might overlook those if you share.
In conclusion, adult camp is a liberating experience where you can embrace nature, camaraderie, and a touch of chaos—minus the kid drama.
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