Each week, I volunteer in my son’s classroom, and recently, one child expressed surprise when he learned that my son participates in gymnastics. I anticipated a classic boy-versus-girl discussion, but instead, he said, “Oh, I thought his legs were still broken since he wears those braces.”
Ah, that opened a door to a much more meaningful conversation. I explained that cerebral palsy is one of the unique aspects of my son’s life, something he navigates daily. We all have our differences, I pointed out, and one child shared, “I’m allergic to shellfish.” Another chimed in with her celiac diagnosis, while yet another admitted to being allergic to eggs. It turned out that the boy who asked about the braces also had a cow’s milk allergy. This unexpected dialogue enriched our understanding, and it was heartening to see the kids engage with the topic.
I reached out to the mother of the child who made the original comment, just in case he wanted to discuss it further at home. She replied, expressing gratitude for my explanation and mentioned that they had been encouraging their kids not to notice differences, hoping that would minimize their significance.
I completely understand this mindset. Before my son was born, I believed in the same approach: why focus on differences when we could choose to overlook them? It seems logical that discussing differences might prompt questions, and possibly awkward situations. However, I truly believe that open conversations about differences are essential, and everyone should embrace them.
It’s wonderful to acknowledge and discuss how some individuals walk or think differently, need extra time to process feelings, or have specific dietary restrictions. Some people can’t tolerate certain fabrics, while others may struggle with particular sounds. Discussing physical differences, such as missing limbs or sensory impairments, is equally valuable. Importantly, we need to emphasize that these differences do not diminish anyone’s worth.
As a child, I always felt a bit out of place. Growing up as a girl, it was easier to embrace my quirks without the pressure to conform to certain “bro” stereotypes. I was a skinny kid, often the subject of comments about my size, and during puberty, I faced teasing for lagging behind my peers in wearing a bra. I also had a big nose and wild hair—elements that made me stand out. Yet, over time, I grew comfortable with who I am, inside and out.
My son’s differences are more pronounced, and they impact his daily life significantly. He may always be seen as “the kid with CP” by some. If given the choice, I would prefer that families discuss my son’s cerebral palsy openly rather than encouraging their kids to ignore it. While I don’t want it to be a constant topic of conversation, I believe it’s beneficial for kids to understand and ask questions if they’re curious. Most of them have something unique about themselves, even if they haven’t framed it that way before.
Differences are an integral part of life, and ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear. The prevailing idea that we should overlook differences in the name of politeness has not served us well. When we ignore differences, we fail to acknowledge and celebrate what makes each person unique. This lack of recognition can lead to segregation based on race or ability, and it can result in schools being unprepared to accommodate children with special needs.
I appreciate the mother who initiated this conversation because it stimulated my thoughts on the topic. I recognize that not everyone shares my viewpoint, and some individuals with visible differences may not want to discuss them frequently. However, this approach has worked well for us so far, especially since my son’s CP is a permanent aspect of his life. We don’t shy away from it, and he doesn’t feel ashamed. In fact, there are days when it doesn’t bother him at all. By normalizing these discussions, we hope to create a more inclusive environment in his social circles.
In conclusion, embracing and discussing our differences can only enrich our lives. They are a natural part of who we are, and by acknowledging them, we help foster understanding and acceptance in our communities.
For more insights on parenting and diverse experiences, check out our guide on the Home Insemination Kit. If you’re looking to boost your chances of conception, consider fertility supplements, a topic well-covered by experts. Additionally, the NICHD pregnancy resource offers valuable information for expectant parents.