I envisioned my first birthing experience as a serene scene: gentle music playing, smiles all around, and me effortlessly bringing my baby into the world—ideally in the comfort of my own bathtub. Having watched all the documentaries, I thought I was well-prepared. So, when I stumbled upon a hypnobirthing class at the prenatal care center, I was intrigued.
HypnoBirthing claims to provide a peaceful and beautiful birthing experience, and I thought, “Why not? Sign me up!”
Fast forward a few months, and my husband and I found ourselves climbing the stairs to a hypnobirthing class nestled above a yoga studio in downtown Brooklyn. We were warmly welcomed by a serene instructor who greeted us with a smile. After handing over our $350 check, we slipped off our shoes and joined a circle of expectant couples already forming in the studio.
The early sessions primarily involved our instructor reading from the book Hypnobirthing Made Easy, which I already had at home. I was slightly disappointed but comforted by her soothing reading voice, hoping it would lead to some meditative moments. However, by session three, a fellow mom leaned over to me and whispered, “What’s going on? Are we learning to hypnotize ourselves or just being read to?” I nodded in agreement, relieved that I wasn’t the only one feeling skeptical. It was as if our thoughts were synchronized, and the instructor finally caught on. That day, she switched gears and showed us some birth videos.
The calmness of the women in those videos was astounding. Honestly, I looked more pained doing sit-ups than they did during childbirth. One woman even appeared to experience an orgasm, a sight I certainly didn’t need to witness and have tried to erase from my mind. Watching my husband’s horrified expression beside me, I began to question whether I was truly cut out for a tranquil birthing experience.
Finally, we reached session four, where the topic of hypnosis came up. I was excited as the instructor announced she would guide us through an exercise. She instructed us to close our eyes and relax. As she led us down a metaphorical staircase, I was supposed to visualize going deeper with each step. Yet, in reality, I was wildly waving my hand, fully aware that I could move it, while everyone else seemed to be in a trance. My husband? Fast asleep, completely oblivious.
As the instructor counted backward from ten, I nudged my husband, hoping he’d be “in the room” with the rest of us. I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy over his ability to relax so completely. When it came time to share our experiences, others spoke of feeling weightless or unable to move their hands. I hesitated but eventually admitted, “I could move my hand. I can’t imagine ever not being able to move it unless something terrible happened.”
The instructor looked at me with calm curiosity and said, “Maria, have you always had issues with control?” Touché.
In the end, my overzealous desire for control led to an emergency c-section. Ironically, while I couldn’t move my legs post-epidural, I learned that not fitting the typical mold in a birthing class is entirely normal. If you’re feeling out of place, rest assured, you’re not alone.
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In summary, my experience in hypnobirthing was far from what I had envisioned. The journey taught me that every birthing experience is unique, and that’s perfectly okay.
Keyphrase: hypnobirthing experience
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