I have a giant box of condoms from Costco stashed in our hall closet, easily accessible and prominently displayed, with a few taken out so that nobody is keeping tabs on their disappearance. It’s like grabbing a mint: just take one, or two, or however many you need—no questions asked.
I’d much rather these enthusiastic teenagers save their experiences for someone who truly matters, someone who will cherish them deeply, rather than just for a moment until the parents return home. However, I understand that this kind of wisdom comes with time, often through a series of missteps. While they grow and learn, I want them to be well-informed about sexually transmitted infections, the realities of pregnancy, and the importance of responsibility and compassion—along with easy access to condoms. After all, the only thing safer than using a condom is abstinence, and that ship has sailed.
The condom supply saga kicked off when my son, Alex, became infatuated with his charming classmate, Sarah. He was witty, athletic, and every parent’s dream. Unfortunately, he was just a little too short for her liking. Since kindergarten, they’d merely been friends. That’s when I learned about his purity pledge card.
“YOUR WHAT???” I exclaimed, my eyes wide in disbelief.
“This,” he said with confidence, pulling out a card from his wallet, proudly displaying his commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. It was signed by both him and the local pastor—an official promise right there in ink. It looked a little something like this:
This sweet, innocent boy, who still climbed trees and played tag in our backyard, was quickly maturing into a handsome teenager, even attracting the attention of upperclassmen. Yet, all he had to protect him was that flimsy card. I knew the reality was that his youthful promises would likely falter.
“Hey, let me give you something,” I said, rushing upstairs. “Just in case.” The weekend was looming, and I had to act fast!
“Mom! MOM! DON’T …” Alex’s voice escalated from a low warning to a full-on emergency alert as I descended the stairs like a stealthy ninja.
“Your pledge is admirable, truly,” I said, putting on my best serious face. “But do me a favor: stash this in your wallet. Respectfully, on a hot summer night in the back of your parents’ car, that promise card isn’t going to help you much. This might just save your evening—and maybe even your future. Keep it, okay? You might not need it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry—especially if that card falls apart from overuse.”
Word spread around town, and soon enough, teenagers began popping by to borrow a book or pick up forgotten sports gear. Before long, the box began to empty—not in a single weekend, but gradually throughout high school. Clearly, someone was benefiting from it, safely and sensibly.
By senior year, most of Alex’s friends knew where to turn if they needed a backup plan. “Seriously, Mom. It’s so embarrassing that everyone comes to me for condoms, and I’m still a VIRGIN! Ugh, it’s mortifying!” he lamented.
“Oh, darling,” I assured him. “Just hang in there. You’re off to college soon, and I promise I’ll get you your very own Costco box to take along. The wait will be worth it—do you want me to make you a card?”
In conclusion, keeping a well-stocked supply of condoms at home can provide not just safety, but also a sense of responsibility for your teens. It opens the door for discussions about love, relationships, and the importance of being prepared. If you’re looking for more guidance on family planning and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for valuable insights, or browse through our home insemination kit guide for additional information.
Keyphrase: Costco-sized box of condoms
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]