Parenting
By Amelia Carter
Updated: August 22, 2015
Originally Published: May 11, 2015
A friend of mine, a fellow mom of tweens, shared an interesting moment with me recently. She said, “This morning while driving the kids to school, one of them suddenly asked, ‘Who’s Bruce Jenner?’ I was so focused on the traffic that I didn’t know how to respond! I ended up saying, ‘He’s an Olympic athlete’ and quickly changed the subject.” In short, she dodged the question.
As someone who has co-authored a children’s book titled I Am Jazz, which introduces the concept of being transgender, I’ve long encouraged parents and educators to engage in open, age-appropriate discussions with children about LGBT topics. My motivation isn’t personal—I don’t have anyone in my immediate family who identifies as LGBT. Instead, I’m driven by a desire to raise compassionate children and acknowledge that the LGBT community is an integral part of our society.
With the growing visibility of marriage equality and transgender individuals, kids will increasingly encounter openly LGBT people in their lives. Ignoring this reality only harms our children and puts educators in a difficult position, as they must navigate the presence of LGBT students and families in their classrooms.
How to Address the Question
So, how would I have addressed that question? I would explain it like this (and I have shared similar thoughts with my own three kids): “Bruce Jenner was a well-known Olympic gold medalist. But now, he’s in the spotlight for a different reason. At 65, he’s revealing to the world who he truly is: he identifies as a woman, even though he was born with a male body. Fascinating, right?”
“When Bruce was younger, he didn’t realize that others felt the same way he did, which led to confusion and shame about wanting a different body than the one he had. It turns out that there are many people who share these feelings, and they are called transgender.”
“Today, medical professionals understand that being transgender is simply part of the human experience. It’s like their brain and body received mixed signals during development. Fortunately, there are medical options available, such as hormone treatments and surgeries, that can help align their physical appearance with their true identity. However, many transgender people find fulfillment by simply changing their name and expressing themselves through their clothing and hairstyles.”
“You might not meet someone who is transgender often—it’s relatively uncommon—but if you do, I hope you’ll treat them with kindness and respect. Remember, their journey has likely been challenging. Also, be mindful not to ask intrusive questions that you wouldn’t want directed at you. Accept them for who they are inside, rather than how they appear outside, just as we do with everyone.”
And there you have it! No drama, no panic. I would steer clear of diving into topics like sex or sexual orientation, as they can confuse the issue at hand, which is Bruce Jenner’s gender identity—this is about who he is, not who he loves. Ultimately, avoiding the question just means our kids will learn about it from less informed sources, possibly misinformed peers. It’s far better to engage respectfully and straightforwardly, just as Bruce Jenner has bravely done.
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Conclusion
In summary, it’s crucial to foster open conversations about gender identity with our kids. By providing clear, respectful responses, we help them understand and accept diverse identities in a compassionate way.
Keyphrase: Discussing Bruce Jenner with Children
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