My First Mother’s Day Without My Mom

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Updated: Dec. 20, 2016

Originally Published: May 9, 2015

This year marks my first Mother’s Day without my mom. Her sudden passing earlier this year left a void that is difficult to fill, and each day has been a struggle to carry on without her. I long to see her, to have one more conversation, to seek her wisdom—just once more.

What I didn’t realize until recently is that my mother spent my entire life preparing me for this very moment. Motherhood isn’t solely about nurturing your children while you’re present; it’s about equipping them to thrive when you’re no longer around. In the midst of late-night chats, disagreements, and family dinners, I absorbed invaluable lessons from her life that help me cope now.

Take Pride in Your Work

Mom was always dedicated to her craft as a seamstress. Whether creating a dress for a high-profile client or stitching garments for those in need, her commitment to quality never wavered. Ultimately, people assess you by the value of your work—not your paycheck.

Learn to Sew a Button

From an early age, Mom taught me practical skills like sewing on a button and hemming pants. I once argued that I could just hire someone for those tasks in the future, but she wisely replied, “If you don’t know how it’s supposed to look, how can you tell if someone else is doing it right?”

It Takes a Village

To many, my mom appeared superhuman—able to make homemade pasta for a crowd or bake countless cookies for gatherings. The truth is, she had the support of her friends. No one can do it all alone, but when women uplift each other, they become extraordinary together.

Learn to Swim

Though my mom loved the water, she never learned to swim herself. Instead, she ensured we took lessons at the community pool. Life can toss you into the deep end unexpectedly, and you need the skills to stay afloat.

Love Fully and Completely

Mom didn’t manage to fulfill all her dreams—Las Vegas was on her list but remained unchecked. Nonetheless, she lived each day to the fullest. My daughter often says that Nonna’s hugs were so tight they nearly squeezed the breath out of her, but I remind her that it was simply love being wrapped tightly around her.

Always Say Goodbye

Whether it’s an Italian tradition or simply how she was raised, Mom made sure we greeted and parted with kisses. I’m grateful for that because it means that the last time I saw her, I hugged her tightly, said, “I love you,” and bid her farewell—as we always did. Had I known it would be our last encounter, I would have clung to her longer, but life doesn’t always offer a heads up.

Mom lived boldly and without regret. I miss her every moment and struggle to envision my life without her guidance. Yet, I understand I must carry on. My greatest responsibility now as a mother is to ensure that when my daughter faces challenges, she can rise again even in my absence. If you’re interested in learning more about fertility and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from March of Dimes. They offer valuable insights on planning for a baby.

In summary, while Mother’s Day this year brings sadness, it also reminds me of the lessons my mom imparted. From hard work to the importance of community, her legacy lives on through me and my daughter. To further explore topics on fertility, you can visit Make a Mom’s fertility booster for men or check out their at-home insemination kit for comprehensive options.

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