“Mommy,” my 4-year-old says, looking up at me with those big eyes. “You’re my best friend!”
“That’s adorable,” I reply.
“And…?” she prompts, clearly expecting more.
“And I love you,” I offer, but she stands there, still waiting for a different response, resembling a little Oliver Twist.
“And?” she repeats. “You didn’t say I’m your best friend back.”
In my mind, I think, “Well, that’s because you’re not my best friend.” I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t want to lie. So, I decide to distract her with something shiny. The reality is, kids make the worst best friends.
When I hear other parents refer to their children as their best friends, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy. Clearly, they’ve never experienced a true friendship. I mean, when was the last time your best friend threw a snack all over your car and then yelled at you for asking her to clean it up? Just a moment before she declared me her best friend, she probably said the same thing to Peppa Pig, an imaginary unicorn, or even a lost Lego piece.
I have a real best friend, someone I’ve known since high school. She’s never pointed out my flaws or asked why I smell like leftovers. Plus, she manages to clean up after herself without needing a reward system. So here’s why my child is definitely not my best friend:
1. Kids Never Pick Up The Tab
When was the last time your 5-year-old said, “Let me treat you?” Yeah, that doesn’t happen. Real best friends share expenses.
2. Best Friends Don’t Steal Your Sleep
Imagine your best friend waking you at 3 a.m. with requests for water, back rubs, and then complaining about the covers. My kids do this all the time.
3. Trash Transfer
My best friend has never handed me an empty snack wrapper or a squished fruit snack. But my kids have no problem passing me their leftover mess.
4. Birthday Present Dilemma
Can you picture your bestie saying, “For your birthday, I want to get you a gift, but you need to drive me to the store and pay for it”? No? That’s called being a kid.
5. Driving Duty
Wouldn’t it be nice to let your best friend take the wheel while you kick back and relax? Instead, I’m always the designated driver.
6. Choice Matters
My best friend would never insist on doing only what she wants. But my kids? They often declare, “We’re only going to the park!”
7. Lost Items
My best friend doesn’t expect me to track down her lost belongings. She doesn’t look at me with confusion when I ask where her things are.
8. Punctuality Issues
No matter how early I rise, my kids seem to have a knack for making me late with their “Just one more minute!” routine. My best friend usually gives me a heads-up if she’s running late.
9. Repetitive Stories
You’ll never find me having dinner with my best friend while she recounts the same tale about a ninja for the thousandth time. Kids, on the other hand, love to hear themselves chat… endlessly.
10. Shifting Loyalties
Best friendships are commitments. They come with rights and responsibilities, such as venting about life and supporting one another. But my kids change their “best friend” every hour, from their lunch buddy to their favorite toy.
Even though my relationship with my kids is unmatched in depth and love, it would be great if they could stop handing me their trash and waking me up at 3 a.m. once in a while.
In conclusion, while the bond between a parent and child is unique and irreplaceable, the qualities that define a true best friend often don’t apply to children. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this at-home insemination kit or learn about the intrauterine insemination options available with the help of experts. For an excellent kit designed for home use, visit CryoBaby Home Intra-Cervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo.
Keyphrase: Why Kids Aren’t Your Best Friends
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