Jumping into the world of OkCupid was not exactly a well-thought-out decision for me. After spending a fulfilling year as a single woman, I had little interest in dating or the male species. Friends and family had tried to match me, but I wasn’t biting. The thought of dating felt more draining than invigorating. Following a 12-year marriage that ended in divorce, and a subsequent four-year relationship that was utterly wrong for me, I had decided I was done. My plan post-breakup was simple: add a few more cats to my family and dive into tennis and crocheting.
And you know what? It worked. I picked up tennis well enough to join a doubles league, and I even crocheted my very own scarf (though I postponed adopting more cats for the moment). I traveled with my kids, reconnected with old pals, and tackled a pile of books that had been gathering dust. Life was good, but while I was content, I found myself lacking in fun.
So, when a friend sang the praises of OkCupid, I thought, “Why not?” I decided to explore the dating site for a few casual meet-ups with no serious expectations.
I began the sign-up process on a Sunday afternoon, just before stepping out for a while. I managed to choose a username and upload a photo. Upon returning home, I was greeted by eight messages and 78 likes—all based on a blurry picture of me without my kids and my age. Deep connections, right? The messages ranged from genuinely sweet (“You have a beautiful smile! I’d love to get to know you”) to downright creepy (“Hey gorgeous, when can I come over?”).
I uploaded additional photos and dove into the seemingly endless array of questions OkCupid uses to refine its matching algorithm. They started innocently enough (“Could you date someone who is messy?”) but soon veered into the deeply personal territory (“How often do you masturbate?”). Thankfully, you can skip questions that you’d rather not tackle. I managed to answer about 30 while dodging at least a dozen.
By bedtime, I had received another 10 messages. It seemed that none of these individuals had bothered to read my profile. Curiously, most of them had a 50 percent or higher “Enemy” ranking, which I assume means we had conflicting answers to the match questions. Browsing the site, I saw many guys who had high match ratings with me, so why was I only hearing from the so-called enemies?
Monday morning brought even more messages (one particularly memorable note from an older gentleman named Peter was signed, “Peter cares”) and another 50 likes. Now, what exactly is a “like”? Apparently, if you click like on someone’s profile and they like you back, you get a little pop-up nudging you to connect. I “liked” a handful of profiles and ended up with one match—a single dad who loves music. Potential! I made a mental note to reach out to him.
To my surprise, while browsing profiles of strong matches, I stumbled upon a familiar face from my college days. We had been in the same entering class but hadn’t really interacted. After skimming through his profile, it was clear we had much in common. I shot him a quick message: “Hey, I think we know each other,” and headed off to work.
He replied almost immediately, and we arranged to meet for drinks a few days later. Exciting, though I wasn’t entirely sure if it was a date or merely a catch-up between acquaintances.
Determined to give this dating thing a fair shot, I reached out to the single dad who had liked me, along with three other profiles that didn’t scream “serial killer.” Unlike the messages I was receiving, I put some thought into my messages, hoping they would come across as clever and engaging. Sadly, only the single dad responded. We traded a few emails, and while he seemed nice enough, I grew weary of the back-and-forth with no real spark to meet in person.
By the next day, I had amassed over 200 likes and 43 messages. Flattering, sure, but the superficiality and lack of genuine effort from my admirers was starting to wear me down. I understand it’s a numbers game—send 20 messages and maybe get three or four replies, leading to a potential date—but I wasn’t convinced I wanted to exert that effort.
After receiving an increasingly unsettling string of messages from one gentleman, I decided to deactivate my profile for a while. I’m sure there are some great guys on OkCupid—my college friend is living proof, as is a friend of his who recently married the first woman he met through the site—but I was not connecting with them.
OkCupid wasn’t a complete bust. My first date with my college acquaintance went well and felt genuinely like a date. Good thing I wore nice heels! He’s cooking dinner for me this weekend. On a side note, my brief exploration of OkCupid turned out to be an intriguing sociological study.
What I Learned
What I learned from my short stint on OkCupid is as follows:
- Men in their 40s often seek women 10-15 years younger, likely hoping to marry and have kids—go figure.
- Guys of all ages seem to believe women are super interested in their abs and other body parts. Gentlemen, trust me: if I want to see you naked, you’ll be the first to know. Until then, please keep it under wraps.
- Men in their 60s with beards appear to find me quite appealing. While I understand the allure of dating older or younger men, I think I’ll stick to those closer to my age—beards are optional.
- Many men don’t pay attention to what you say you’re looking for; if you respond, you must be a match.
I’m not giving up on online dating just yet. There’s something thrilling about knowing there are plenty of other singles out there looking for their Ms. Right (or their Ms. Right for the Night). However, I’m considering a service like Coffee Meets Bagel, which offers one match per day and limits profile browsing until you express interest. That might be more my speed.
In summary, my experience on OkCupid was a mixed bag—a few intriguing connections, but also a smorgasbord of odd and creepy interactions. If you’re in the market for a home insemination kit, you might find valuable insights in posts like this one. For more on home insemination, check out Cryobaby; they are an authority on the subject. Additionally, WomensHealth.gov offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Keyphrase: OkCupid experience
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]