Updated: May 2, 2015
Originally Published: May 2, 2015
We all know that honesty is key, a lesson we instill in our children from a young age. However, when you’re a parent, there are moments when bending the truth becomes almost essential. Sound familiar? If not, I’d wager an entire night of peaceful sleep that you’re not being entirely truthful.
Lie #1: Oh, we’d love to come over! None of our kids are sick.
Truth: Little Max has been coughing for days and sounds like a foghorn, but we haven’t left the house in weeks. I desperately need to chat with someone over the age of 12 or I might just lose it.
Lie #2: Ugh, we can’t make it; Max is under the weather.
Truth: Honestly, your stories about your husband’s high school football days are mind-numbingly dull. That was two decades ago; let’s move on. Also, does your house always smell like chicken noodle soup?
Lie #3: We had an amazing family vacation!
Truth: After watching a documentary on snakes that eat their young, I can totally relate.
Lie #4: My kids never eat fast food.
Truth: If you can whip up a nutritious meal in the three-minute drive to soccer practice, you should definitely pitch that idea on Shark Tank.
Lie #5: My children have never had lice.
Truth: Have you seen the movie “Outbreak”? That was our October experience.
Lie #6: Our kids only get an hour of screen time each day.
Truth: With a few Skittles, Max could probably recite every episode of “Peppa Pig” in order.
Lie #7: Yes, we’re exploring summer camps; just can’t choose the right one.
Truth: Not only have I not even begun to research, but those camps cost a fortune! Plus, most run from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., and I work full-time. There’s no way I can leave work to drop them off without risking my job. It’s a disaster waiting to happen!
Lie #8: I’ve cherished every moment of motherhood.
Truth: There are days when showing up to my high school reunion in my birthday suit sounds less painful than yet another round of hide and seek.
Lie #9: I loved being pregnant!
Truth: Stretch marks are the new black—who knew?
Lie #10: I’d love to help out, but we’ll be out of town this weekend.
Truth: No one is allowed to post anything on social media for the next three days. We’re not going anywhere, and I don’t want any questions!
Lie #11: Max is really shining in soccer this year; he’s a natural!
Truth: I think the coach is hoping the bench will swallow him whole.
It’s normal to find yourself telling little fibs from time to time. I, for one, vow to embrace honesty from now on—right after my little champ finishes his (Tylenol-assisted) nap. For those exploring options for pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on fertility treatment. And if you’re interested in boosting fertility, don’t miss our insights on fertility boosters for men and at-home intracervical insemination kits.