When you’re out enjoying a meal, the last thing you expect to hear is a child’s voice exclaiming, “That baby looks weird! His eyes are ugly!” It’s a harsh reality that no parent wants to face, especially when you’re just trying to savor a chicken fried biscuit. My son, who is now nearly eight months old, was born with a unique eye condition known as ptosis in one eye, which has already necessitated surgery to maintain his vision. His other eye has webbing and a fistula, and more procedures are on the horizon.
As I prepare for the arrival of another baby in September, my protective instincts have heightened. I’ve always worried that my baby could be bullied due to his appearance; thoughts that kept me up at night while he was in the NICU after being born six weeks early. I’ve fretted about his future friendships, romantic prospects, and career opportunities. Sure, it sounds extreme, but hormones can do a number on your mind.
In a moment of vulnerability, I found myself tearing up at a fast-food restaurant after overhearing those hurtful remarks. My husband, my steadfast support, reminded me that letting these kids get to me meant I was surrendering to their negativity. Although I understood this logically, it didn’t make my emotions any easier to manage. Days passed, and I couldn’t shake the incident from my mind. Then, a revelation struck me.
My child is absolutely incredible. He brings joy to every room he enters, beams with happiness, and remains blissfully unaware of any perceived differences. If he’s not troubled by his situation, why should I let others bother me? Those boys who made the rude comments were likely acting out of their own insecurities. Children will always stare at our son because he looks different, and that’s a natural curiosity.
I remember a shopping trip where an older gentleman approached us, expressing pity for my son’s eyes. Instead of feeling annoyed or upset, I seized the moment to share some positivity: “There’s no need to feel sorry for him! He sees just fine and is the happiest baby you’ll ever meet.” At that moment, my little guy flashed a radiant smile, and I realized we make a pretty great team.
I find it frustrating when people say that our child’s condition was given to us because we could handle it. I could also handle a tub full of cockroaches, but that doesn’t mean I would choose that experience. Nevertheless, in that moment of connection with the stranger, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. I wished I could revisit the fast-food joint and educate those boys about my son’s condition, to set an example when no one else stepped in.
Sure, there are days when I’m exhausted and don’t want to answer questions or deal with stares. But this is our reality, and we’re embracing it. We don’t know if our next baby will have similar challenges, and honestly, we’ve stopped worrying about it. After ruling out major syndromes through genetic testing, we decided it doesn’t matter. I proudly declare that I’m the mother of a preemie and a child with facial differences. More importantly, I’m the mother of a smart, funny, and spirited little boy who is genuinely happy. And really, as a mother, that’s all I could ever ask for.
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In summary, the journey of parenting a child with unique needs can be challenging, but it’s also filled with joy and pride. I’ve learned to rise above negative comments and focus on the incredible spirit of my child, knowing that our love and support will shape his future.
Keyphrase: Parenting a child with special needs
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