Your Stay-at-Home Partner Isn’t Your Backup Plan

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As someone who has juggled single parenthood with multiple jobs and various responsibilities, I’ve seen it all. Since getting married, I’ve switched between full-time roles, part-time gigs, working from home, and even homeschooling. My experiences have shown me the many facets of parenting, but one thing has become crystal clear: being a stay-at-home parent (SAHP) does not mean I’m available as your safety net.

Let me clarify. In true emergencies, I’m all in. If you need someone to watch your little one while you rush to the hospital at midnight, or if your car breaks down and you can’t make it to school pick-up, I’ll step up. However, I’m not talking about those kinds of situations. Here are some scenarios that should not be considered emergencies:

  1. Sick Children: If your child is unwell, keeping them home is the right choice. It’s understood that you have commitments, but exposing others to illness is not worth it. No one wants your child’s germs!
  2. School Breaks: School vacations are typically scheduled well in advance. There’s no reason to knock on your neighbor’s door on Sunday in a panic because you forgot to arrange childcare for Monday. Poor planning on your part doesn’t create a crisis for others.
  3. Unexpected Childcare: Don’t assume it’s okay to drop your kid off for playdates without prior arrangements. I don’t run a daycare service, and it’s alarming to be told a child is staying until their parent returns without any prior notice!
  4. False Promises: Refrain from telling your child they can visit for dinner or join us on outings when that hasn’t been discussed with me first. It puts me in an awkward position, having to explain why those plans cannot happen.
  5. Volunteer Your Own Time: If you need help with activities like bake sales or community events, step up yourself rather than volunteering me. I have my own responsibilities, and it’s not fair to assume I can take on yours.
  6. Homeschooling Requests: Asking me to tutor or homeschool your child is a big ask. It requires a significant commitment and may not even be legally permissible depending on where you live. Just because I homeschool my own children doesn’t mean I’m available to do the same for yours.

Being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job in itself. Between homeschooling, managing the household, and nurturing my kids, my days are packed. So please, don’t assume that just because I’m not clocking in elsewhere, I’m looking for extra tasks to fill my time.

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In summary, being a stay-at-home parent is a demanding role, and it shouldn’t be viewed as a backup plan for others. Let’s respect each other’s time and effort in our parenting journeys.

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