As I celebrated my 37th birthday this past January, a vivid memory surfaced from my childhood. I recalled walking alongside my mother, who was pushing my little sister in a stroller. Curious about her age, I asked, and she replied, “Thirty-seven,” her dark hair fluttering in the breeze. At that moment, I thought, “Thirty-seven is what it means to be a grown-up.” I can still picture her in a blue dress, her bare legs moving swiftly as she grabbed my arm, pulling me across the street.
Back then, my mother was navigating a whirlwind of challenges. After separating from my father when my sister was born, she suddenly had two young girls to care for. I felt the weight of her worries, but in that fleeting moment, I saw her as a vibrant, imperfect, and resilient woman—more than just my mother, but a person in her own right.
The years between her 37 and the day she began to dye her hair and wear stockings seem like a blur. But here I am, standing in her shoes, noticing the fine lines on my face after a restless night. As I gather my dark hair into a ponytail, the silver strands catch my eye, as if they’ve been waiting for my acknowledgment.
What strikes me most about being 37 is the realization that this is it. I am a grown-up now, living my life—filled with two bright-eyed sons, a supportive husband, a rented duplex, a trusty old Honda, and a fish named Reddy.
So many of the things that terrified me as a child—sex, marriage, childbirth, parenting—are now my reality. Yet, I still find myself grappling with other daunting milestones that lie ahead. The thought of my boys entering their teenage years or eventually leaving home is overwhelming to me. I’ve been warned about menopause and other changes that come with age, and, curiously, I find myself irrationally anxious about my first colonoscopy, while mammograms somehow don’t phase me.
And then there’s the reality of my parents aging. The thought of losing them is one I can scarcely bear; I pray that I have many years before I face that, ideally after my own children are grown. I rely on their wisdom and support now more than ever.
This is who I am today: the mother, the wife, the fish owner. I have my iPhone addiction, a secret stash of chocolate tucked away on the top shelf, and running shoes I’m just now unearthing as spring arrives. Each time I prepare to lace up for a run, I remind myself: “I can do this. I can do this life.”
One of the most significant changes I’ve experienced as I navigate the latter half of my thirties is a growing capacity to confront my lifelong anxiety—or at least to tell it to take a hike. Anxiety has ebbed and flowed throughout my life, often coloring my experiences with a sense of uncertainty. I’ve spent much of my adult life doubting whether the blessings I have—my marriage, my children—are truly mine to cherish.
Being a child of divorce likely contributes to that anxiety, leaving me wary that something might disrupt the loving family life I’ve built. However, I’ve found ways to cope. I meditate, I breathe, and I strive to embrace the passage of time and the distance from my childhood. This perspective allows me to relinquish fear and cherish my current life.
I often wonder how my children perceive me now at 37. Do they ever glance at me from an outsider’s perspective, just as I did with my mother? Do they notice the way I hold their hands tightly during our walks to school, feeling both the joy and the bittersweetness of letting them grow?
As a child, I always looked forward to growing older, and I now understand why. They say there’s no going back once you reach adulthood, and that gives me peace. I’m ready to leave behind the shadows of the past and fully embrace who I am today—comfortable in my own skin. This life, with all its beauty and complexity, is all I have, and I’m grateful for every moment.
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In summary, growing into adulthood at 37 has given me a new perspective on life, embracing both the joys and challenges it brings. As I navigate my responsibilities as a mother, wife, and individual, I cherish each moment and the lessons they teach me.
Keyphrase: Embracing adulthood at 37
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