This morning, while I was “working” (read: browsing social media and exploring parenting blogs), I stumbled upon a piece about a mother who crafts a unique Disney princess dress for her daughter every time they visit a Disney Park. Seriously, she sews a new outfit by hand for every visit.
Here’s the kicker: I have absolutely no recollection of my mom doing such extravagant things for me. In fact, I can’t recall any of my friends’ parents stepping up to that level of commitment either.
Let’s break this down:
- Attendance at Events: I don’t remember my parents being present for every single sports game, play, or chorus rehearsal. I vividly recall being dropped off at the curb and instructed to return in two hours when practice ended.
- Classroom Involvement: My mom didn’t attend every classroom party or assembly. Sure, they showed up for major milestones like my second-grade violin recital, but I assure you, my teachers spent far more time with me during the school day than my parents did.
- Disney Visits: I went to Disney twice as a child, and I wore an off-the-rack, turquoise velour outfit with tube socks and cheap shoes. My mother didn’t handcraft those clothes; we simply picked them up at Sears from the clearance section.
- Parenting Jargon: Terms like “issues,” “playdates,” and “conscious uncoupling” were nonexistent. People faced challenges, kids played, and divorce happened without all the fancy terminology. There was no “Ferberizing” babies or “reasoning” with toddlers.
- Privacy and Freedom: My parents didn’t hover over every conversation or track me with the latest gadgets. I had my own phone line (which I admit was a bit of a luxury), but my parents never monitored my calls. I had the freedom to explore, with only a quarter for the payphone if needed, and if I missed curfew, I faced the consequences—grounding and loss of car privileges.
- Parental Roles: My parents were just that—parents. They weren’t my friends. They expected respect, and while I rolled my eyes and asked for money, I never considered them part of my social circle. If social media had existed then, they wouldn’t have been interested in being my online friends either.
- Birthday Parties: I don’t remember extravagant birthday parties with catered food, elaborate cakes, or favor bags stuffed with gift cards. Costumes came from the grocery store, and Christmas gifts were practical items from Sears or Kmart. We were content with what we had.
- Extracurricular Activities: I definitely don’t recall being enrolled in multiple activities at once as a child. There was no pressure to expose us to every possible experience. If we liked something, we participated, and our parents didn’t stick around to watch us practice (see point one).
Now don’t get me wrong; I sometimes fall into the trap of trying to keep up with the overzealous parenting trend. My children are occasionally overscheduled, we have a plethora of toys, and they’ve already visited Disney twice. Christmas mornings here are filled with an abundance of gifts, and I even find myself making their Halloween costumes by hand. I know my mom is chuckling at my choices.
But we should all take a moment to reflect on the environment we’re fostering for our children. The expectation that handmade Disney dresses are necessary for a trip to see Mickey Mouse is downright absurd. From lavish invitations to extravagant birthday parties, we’re inadvertently teaching our kids that more is synonymous with better, and that contentment is a thing of the past.
When does it stop? If my mother saw me crafting costumes for Disney trips, she’d undoubtedly send me to bed without dinner and take the car keys away for the weekend. And I’d listen because I’d definitely need that car for Saturday night.
This article was originally published on April 21, 2015.
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Summary
Modern parenting trends often lead to over-scheduling and extravagant expectations, distancing us from simpler childhood experiences. Reflecting on the past can help us create a healthier environment for our children, where they can learn the value of simplicity and satisfaction.
Keyphrase: parenting trends
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